Time Warp
by Shad0w W0lf
Summary: Hidan is dug up after about 160 years and when he opens his eyes he finds that his fate is in the hands of 6 thirteen year olds. Whatever will they do with him? Humour. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

Hey all.

Not really a lot I can say about this story *shrug* I wrote it for no other purpose then for giggles. The story idea kind of blind sighted me a few weeks ago, prompting me to write up a quick outline. After that the entire story just seemed to kind of flow out. This is meant to be purely a crack story, mostly a series of funny, humorous scenes loosely linked together by a thin thread of plot. I must warn you, there will be _a lot_ of OC's as this is based a fair way in the future.

*Scratches neck* So yeah, enjoy and as always constructive criticism is appreciated as it helps me improve my writing skills, reviews just give me warm fuzzy feelings and flaming is used to warm my toes in the depths of winter as I continue to write.

Cheers

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did I wouldn't be writing fanfics about it.

WARNING: In case you missed the rating, there is copious amounts of swearing throughout this story so be warned.

Chapter One.

Kicking a clod of dirt a young girl walks through the forest muttering quietly to herself. It wasn't fair that she got roped into doing this because her older sister didn't feel like it. She gave another clod of dirt a particularly vicious kick, bloody typical Nara attitude. Sometimes she felt like the odd one out in the Nara clan, lacking the laidback and lax attitude prevalent in the rest of her family.

Thirteen year old Nara Shina took to the treetops with a sigh, she might as well get the inspection of her section over and done with so that she could report back and go meet her friend Ayame. She swept her gaze all around as she travelled over the branches taking note of all extra branches and other debris that had been shaken loose during the massive storm that blew through two days ago. Up ahead she spotted a tree that had been uprooted and was now lying on its side; that was something that needed to be reported. Shina jumped to the ground and went around to have a look at the root system. She looked down into the gaping hole with some curiosity. That was when she spotted something at the bottom that caught her attention. After a moment of consideration she jumped down for a closer look.

At the bottom Shina dug the dirt away and pulled out the object. Upon closer inspection she was fascinated to find that it was a desiccated arm. Now most young teenage girls wouldn't be caught dead handling a decapitated dried up arm but Shina wasn't most girls. As a medic in training she found the arm fascinating. What was it doing here? How did it get here? Oh! Maybe it was a murder victim? Hmmm, one way to find out. She focused for a moment to gather her chakra and push it in so that she could examine the inside of it. But as soon as she did that the fingers on the hand curled inward.

Now medic in training or not the last thing she expected to see was the hand make a fist, especially since she _knew_ she didn't stimulate the nervous system. Her immediate reaction was to squeal like the thirteen year old girl she was and drop the arm.

Ok, she should definitely tell someone.

She jumped out of the hole and was about to bolt back to the house when something made her stop. Shina frowned as she slowly turned and looked back down at the arm that twitched every so often. Wasn't there an old story or something? She thought for a moment. Yes! A story about how her great-great grandfather had defeated an immortal shinobi and buried him somewhere on the grounds! But that couldn't be right, nobody could _actually_ become immortal, it just wasn't medically possible. She picked up a stick and jumped back down into the hole. Crouching by the arm she poked at it a few times with the end of the stick, this seemed to annoy the arm which grasped at the air in an angry fashion.

Ideas and theories started to swirl around her mind as she watched the arm. What if there was a way to replicate this state of being? Even if it wasn't a true immortality jutsu, it was most certainly an advanced healing technique. Think of the kinds of lives she could save. But her face fell, if she told anyone about this then she would never get the opportunity to examine it. Shina stood up and dropped the stick. This would be the only chance she would ever get. She chewed her bottom lip for a moment as she hovered between the two possible courses of action to take. It didn't take her long to come to a decision. With her mind made up she kicked a bit of dirt over the arm and jumped out of the hole before racing off back to the village at top speed.

**0o0o0o0**

Slowly, so slowly, awareness crept over him as a warmth suffused his cold, dry body. But with the awareness of himself came also an awareness of his massive discomfit. Dirt filled his mouth and throat and crusted up his eyes. It was then that he felt something brushing the dirt from his face and he could faintly hear the sound of voices murmuring around him. He….he… he was going to kill that fucking Nara! He suddenly remembered how he came to be dirt encrusted and he was furious. It was that fury that made him snap his eyes open to see what had unearthed him. If he was really lucky then it would be someone he knew and he could get himself put back together and go pummel the little brat that did this to him. But in reality he expected nothing more than some curious and confused diggers.

What he had never expected to see was half a dozen children peering down at his face, five of which squealed and recoiled when his eyes snapped open. The sixth one had her hand on his face and he could feel her chakra flow through him, clearing the dirt out of his ears, nose and throat. It also energised him to a certain degree. He looked around at the group, assessing them. First was the girl on his far left, she had a shock of unruly brown hair and dark coloured eyes. Running down each of her cheeks was a bright red inverted triangle. Standing next to her legs was a small black and white puppy. Next was a pair of identical twin boys with spiky dark red hair and bright blue eyes. Next to the twins was another boy that was quite obviously a Hyuuga, with dark blue grey hair and the distinct pale eyes. Standing next to the Hyuuga boy was a girl with black hair, dark eyes and a decidedly Uchiha cast to her face. Lastly was the girl that was closest to him, she had brown hair that was so dark that it was almost black and bright leaf green eyes. She was the only one in the group that didn't flinch when he opened his eyes and was also the one that fed him the chakra. There was something about her face though, he felt like he should know it but he just couldn't place it.

Overall the group couldn't have been older then thirteen or fourteen. The Uchiha girl was the first one to recover from the shock. She placed a hand on the shoulder of the girl that fed him chakra.

"Shina, he is creepy and gross. I think we should just bury his rotting butt back in the ground."

Shina looked up at her friend, "I _can't_ Ayame. You have no idea the kind of valuable information I could get."

The girl with the puppy took a step forward, "Shina I have to agree with Ayame on this one." She poked at his head with the toe of her shoe as the puppy gave a growl, "Just rebury it." He made a weak grimace at her, how dare she fucking kick him!

"We _should_ really tell the Hokage about this. I mean if you're right about his identity then he is very dangerous." The Hyuuga boy said.

"NO!" Shina jumped up, "If we tell the Hokage then he will just get the ANBU to take him away and I'll _never_ get the chance to find out what it is that has kept him somewhat alive all this time. And you just _know_ that they will never do that kind of research." She stomped her foot in annoyance.

"Maybe this is just one of those things that you should just leave alone." One of the twins said, "If you are right then he is an extremely dangerous S-Class criminal and we are noooooowhere skilled enough to take him."

"Speak for yourself." The girl with the dog muttered.

"What was that!" the first twin swung around to face her with clenched fists.

However before a fight could break out Ayame came between them.

"Kimi! Daiki! We don't have time for your stupidity."

It dawned on him at that precise moment that his entire future now hung in the hands of a group of _children_! They alone held the power to either grant him his freedom or bury his ass back under the dirt.

Fan-fucking-tastic. If he had his arms right at that moment he would have facepalmed.

"It will be fine, look what if I came up with a way to make him not dangerous. Something to contain him?" Shina looked around at her friends with a pleading look.

The second twin sighed and looked down at him, "I don't know, I kinda agree with Daiki. That," he pointed a finger at the head, "is nothing but bad news."

"Akira is right," Ayame said, "besides we don't know any techniques to restrain someone of his skill level. Hell, we don't even know if there _are_ any jutsu's that can do that."

A thoughtful look came over Shina's face. The Hyuuga boy finally cracked a frown.

"No. Don't even think about it Shina." He said.

Shina shot him a look full of contrived innocence, "What?"

"What are you going on about Hiroshi?" Daiki asked.

Hiroshi pointed a finger at Shina, "She's thinking of making a new jutsu."

All eyes, including his, swung over to Shina. It only took a moment before she cracked beneath the weight of the stares.

"Oh, fine," Shina threw up her arms, "Yes I was thinking about it."

"Shiiina." Ayame whined, "You don't have the time to do that. Besides how the hell will you explain it to your Sensei?"

"It took you months to create the last one and the entire time you were tired and snappy and a general pain." Akira added with an eyeroll.

"But I can do this!" Shina spread her hands, "Besides I won't be starting from scratch on this one, because I can use one of my shadow jutsu's as a base." She was starting to get excited now.

His face screwed up in a silent growl, that's why she looked familiar! She was one of those fucking Nara! He screamed silently within in his own mind, all he wanted to do was scream abuse and obscenities at the little brats that surrounded him. But his vocal cords were still stiff and dry. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling tired. Why was this happening to him? Surely his god must've abandoned him if his fate was now in the hands of a group of pre-pubescent teenagers. This just wasn't fair.

"NO!" Hiroshi yelled at Shina, "He is an S-Class, what if he can figure out how to break it."

Shina made a scoffing noise, "He won't. He's an idiot." She missed the head snapping his eyes back open to shoot daggers at her.

"You don't know that." Kimi snorted with folded arms.

"Yeah, he was in that Akatsuki group after all." Daiki added.

"Only 'cause he was immortal." Shina folded her own arms, "According to Great-great-grandpa's story his fighting style is predictable and limited."

Wait, _great-great grandpa_? How the hell long had he been buried for?

"Please guys." Shina sighed, "Help me with this."

Kimi relented first, "Fine, whatever. Just make sure the jutsu works properly before you use it on him."

The twins both nodded in consent. Ayame pursed her lips for a moment before rolling her eyes and muttering a small "fine". Hiroshi remained stiff and resistant.

"Hiroshi, please. You don't have to do anything all I'm asking is that you don't tell anyone yet."

Hiroshi sighed, all the fight leaving him, "Alright, I won't say anything for now."

Shina gave a wide grin, "Thanks guys. First thing first, we need to dig up the rest of him."

He couldn't believe it. He was actually going to be free! Maybe these brats could be of use after all. His happy mood lasted right up until Shina picked his head up and dumped him in an old dirty sack. He was sooooo going to slowly slaughter each and every one of these kids as soon as he was put back together.

**0o0o0o0**

An hour later the group had managed to find all of the dried up pieces of his body that they could. Shina put all the rest of the pieces in a separate sack to the head then led the group on the long route through the Nara property to the old abandoned lab that she had claimed for her own to practise her medical jutsu's. The old labs had been abandoned when newer more modern labs were built a couple of years ago. When she had started her medic training she had begged her parents to allow her to have one of the old labs for herself. They had been resistant at first, but after her mother had come home to find a fish flopping around her kitchen with Shina chasing it around she had promptly arranged for Shina to have one.

This meant that Shina now had the perfect private place to store the desiccated ninja that her and her friends were now carting around in sacks. When they arrived, Shina quickly fished the key out of her pocket and unlocked the door, ushering the others inside first before slipping in last and locking the door behind her. She motioned for Akira and Daiki to drop the sack full of body parts on an empty steel bench whilst she placed the one with the head next to it.

"This place stinks." Kimi said covering her nose with her hand, her puppy gave a whine in agreement.

"Sorry." Shina said absently as she carefully pulled the head out.

"He looks kind of pissed off." Daiki said with an exaggerated look of deep thought, "What do you think dear brother?"

Akira affected a similar manner to his twin, "I must agree. He does look quite angry."

"It would appear he is trying to froth at the mouth." Daiki observed as he leaned in closer.

"You're right." Akira also leaned in. "Do you think it's possible for him to have an aneurysm?"

"Ooooh, let's try."

Ayame smacked both the twins on the back of the head, "Not a good idea to tease an S-Class criminal." She said.

The twins just snickered as Shina finished filling a glass tank with water. She just gave a small shake of her head as she went rummaging through a cupboard pulling various jars with powders and liquids down. Grabbing a bowl from another cupboard she started to dump various amounts of the jar contents in before rolling up her sleeves and hand mixing the ingredients together.

"Ew." Ayame stated looking over her shoulder at the goopy semi-solid gunk that had been made.

Shina just grinned as she picked up a handful of the goop and held it out the Ayame. Ayame instantly shrunk away from it.

"Don't you dare!" she growled as she went to hide behind Kimi with Hiroshi. Kimi just rolled her eyes, so what if they got a little goop on them. It would do them both a world of good to get dirty more often.

Shina just laughed before dropping the goop into the tank. She then called chakra to her arm before stirring it in.

Akira sidled up the bowl with the rest of the goop, "Heeey, Shina, can we have the rest of this?"

"No, I need it."

"You sure?" Daiki peered into the bowl.

"Yes!" she slapped both their hands away from the bowl before walking over and carefully picking up the head. She pushed some more chakra into the head before speaking to him. "I'm going to put you in the water now and leave you till tomorrow morning. This will rehydrate you and the stuff I put in will give your cells vital energy and nutrients. I suggest you try and get some sleep."

The head just narrowed his eyes and glared at her, so with a slight shrug she gently placed him in the tank. Once in the rest of the group crowded around to peer at him in the tank. Daiki tapped on the tank.

"Check it out. He's like a little pet fishie. Maybe we could rename him Goldy."

Akira and Kimi snickered as the head in the tank shot a look of pure loathing at Daiki. Ayame rolled her eyes.

"Come on, I gotta put the rest of the body in the big tank." Shina said standing up.

It took five minutes to fill up the big tank, after which Akira and Daiki gleefully put the rest of the goop into the water as Shina stirred it in with her chakra covered arm. As Kimi and Shina dropped the rest of the body parts in the water, Akira and Daiki chased Ayame and Hiroshi around the lab trying to wipe the goop residue on their hands off on the dirt phobic Uchiha and the clean freak Hyuuga.

There was a squeal of outrage as the twins managed to corner and goop Ayame.

"Alright, we're done here for now." Shina said, trying to hide her smile at Ayame's fate.

With a growl Ayame chased the twins out the door followed close behind by Kimi and her ninken Gin. Shina went to chase after them so that she could make sure Ayame didn't kill the boys but she was stopped. Hiroshi had his hand around her upper arm.

"Please promise me you will be careful with this." He said concerned.

Shina patted his hand, "Don't worry about it. I promise I'll be careful about this. Now come on, we have training with Sensei soon and I need to make sure Ayame doesn't kill Akira."

With that they walked out and locked the door.


	2. Chapter 2

As promised, next chapter. I also reloaded the first chapter as I found out that the symbols I used for scene breaks weren't showing which made the chapter feel more rushed then it already was.

As I already mentioned this story wasn't supposed to have any in depth plot *kicks plot bunny trying to sneak in* but still some managed to creep in.

I appreciate reviews, it would be nice to know if I am making people laugh.

Also I apologise to any Hidan fans out there if he is OOC. I went and re-watched all the episodes and read through his Narutopedia page when I first started to write this so that I could try and _sorta_ keep him in character. *shrugs*

Another note, I don't have a beta so it is inevitable that I might miss a few mistakes, no matter how many times I re-read through it. So if you spot any missing words or sentences that don't quite make sense then by all means tell me and I will fix it. Thanks

Onwards to the story!

Chapter Two

The next morning Shina quickly finished her breakfast and made her way to her lab. She walked in and made sure to lock the door behind her. Walking over to the small tank she peered in. Wow, he looked much better after a night in the water, she thought. He appeared to be asleep with his eyes closed and his face relaxed.

Yesterday after training she had delved right into the history books trying to get a sense of what this shinobi would be like. But the problem was that not a lot of information was known and it was sketchy at best with only the name and basic outline of fighting skills. This had left her frustrated, she hated not having all the information, doubly so in a situation as dangerous as this one. Well, she might as well pull the head out and start some preliminary scanning so that she could start figuring out how to create her new restraining jutsu.

There was a knock on the lab door which made her start in surprise. Shina walked over and unlocked the door before carefully opening it a few inches to peer out and see who it was. She relaxed and gave a grin when she saw Akira standing there.

"Hey, where's Daiki?" Shina asked opening the door to allow him to slip in.

"Training, I figured you wouldn't mind me hanging out with you till he's done."

"That's fine. I'm just about to take the head out. If the story is right, he should be able to talk to us."

They walked over to the tank where Shina rolled her sleeves up and dipped them in to grasp at the head. Akira watched with interest.

"Wow, he looks much better now." He muttered.

As soon as Shina's hands grasped the head the eyes shot open and looked up at her as much as he was able. She eased it out and held it over the tank to allow the excess water to drain off. As soon as he was out his mouth started to move as he attempted to form speech. Both the teenagers watch raptly to see if he would.

A slight raspy sound was heard from the head. Akira raised an eyebrow and tapped the bodiless shinobi on the nose.

"Aw, how cute. He's trying to talk."

The heads face screwed up in pure rage as Shina shot her team mate a dirty look.

"….ak….oo!" The head was starting to form distinguishable sounds now. Shina placed the head on a towel and lifted the edges to dry off the hair. The head gave muffled shouts as she rubbed the towel over his scalp. Finally she put the towel down and snickered at the murderous look on his face that was made a whole lot less effective by his white hair puffing around his face. He growled at her.

"…uck …yo..!"

Akira leaned in with his hand cupped around his ear, "Sorry, didn't catch that."

"Fuck you!" his voice was still raspy from disuse but the words were recognisable, "When I get my hands on you little pricks I am going to rip you all limb from limb."

Akira just ruffled the nin's hair, "Keep telling yourself that." He turned to Shina, "You know it's not too late to drop him back in the hole."

"Don't ignore me you little brats!"

Shina shook her head, "No. I can't let this opportunity go to waste."

"FUCK YOU BOTH!"

Akira shrugged, "Just making sure you know your options."

"ARRRRGGG!"

They both turned to him. Shina planted her hands on her hips, trying her best to be intimidating.

"You know, threatening me like that won't get you put together. Besides, how stupid do you think I am? I know you're a mass murdering criminal, I'm not putting you together unless I know I can control you."

"Yeah, just chill out Goldy." Akira added, "you'd still be in the ground if it wasn't for us."

"My name is Hidan. Not. Goldy." Hidan ground out, after a moment he grudgingly asked "How long was I buried anyway?"

Shina and Akira looked at each other.

"What's it been, something like a hundred and fifty years?" Shina asked.

"Probably closer to a hundred and sixty." Akira answered.

"What?!" Hidan made a strangled sound, "A hundred and sixty years!"

He fell silent then as he absorbed the new information. A hundred and sixty years. Damn, the shadow user would be long dead by now. Fuck, what the hell was he going to do now?

"Hmmm, do you think we broke him?" Akira asked.

"Nah, he'll be fine." Shina responded, "Hey Hidan," he looked up at her, "I've got to go get some books, is there anywhere you want me to put you?" he didn't respond, he only looked away with a scowl. Shina just shrugged.

"Suit yourself. Come on Akira." And with that they left leaving Hidan alone in the old lab with only his thoughts for company.

Three days later Shina was at the end of her rope. She swung around to face Hidan.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" she screamed at him.

Hidan just gave her a smug look. With a lack of anything else to do and the inability to throttle any of the brats yet he had decided to settle on just annoying the crap out of the Nara girl. It had so far proven to be an enormous amount of fun. She threw her arms up with a noise of exasperation just as a knock sounded on the door. She stomped over and flung it open with a "WHAT?"

Standing at the door was Kimi and the twins.

"You alright?" Kimi asked as Gin cowered behind her a bit.

"No." Shina snapped as she stepped aside to let them in, "He just won't shut up."

Hidan narrowed his eyes at the twins, "What do you little fuckers want?"

"Why don't you just gag him?" Kimi asked as she wondered over to the big tank that still held the rest of Hidan's body.

"I tried." Shina groaned, "Somehow he gets them off."

"Hey! I'm right here; I can hear everything you're saying." Hidan said sarcastically.

The twins sidled up to him with their own smug grins. He glared at both of them; he didn't trust either of them.

"Fuck off you two." He growled.

The twins just ignored him as Daiki picked Hidan up.

"He's got quite the foul mouth on him, doesn't he?" Daiki said tilting the head to the side slightly.

"Hmm, maybe we should help Shina with gagging him?" Akira replied.

"Put me down!" Hidan said furiously.

Daiki put him back down on the folded towel with a grin.

"I just had a great idea." Daiki said.

"Kurama?" Akira asked with a grin.

"Kurama." Daiki confirmed.

"Who the fuck is Kurama?"

They ignored him as they ran out the door giggling. Shina and Kimi just watched them leave from over at the other tank. Kimi tapped at the glass.

"Hey Shina, where are you going to get some clothes from?"

"What?"

Kimi pointed at the tank, "I don't see any clothes in there."

There was a pause as the full import of that statement sunk in.

"Crap. I didn't think of that."

Kimi grinned, "Wow, something miss smarty pants Nara didn't think about."

Shina just stuck her tongue out at her, "I'll go ask Ayame. I have to go see her about something else any way." She went and grabbed a notebook that she had been scribbling in and then grabbed Kimi by the wrist, "Come on, let's go now. I'm tired of listening to _him_ talk."

"Oi, don't leave me here. I'm bored." Hidan said.

"Too bad." Shina muttered as she dragged Kimi and Gin out and closing the door with a definite 'bang'.

Great. Now what was he going to do?

The sound of the lab door opening awoke Hidan from the light doze he had slipped into. He opened his eyes expecting to see the Nara girl again. Instead he was confronted by what was quickly becoming his worst nightmare.

The twins.

He narrowed his eye suspiciously at the identical smug grins they were both sporting. They strolled over to him with their hands behind their backs.

"Fuck off." Hidan growled at them.

"Now why would we want to do that?" one of them replied. Hidan didn't know which one was which.

"We are just here to do a favour for a friend."

"And you can't do a single thing about it."

Hidan growled at them. These two took too much fun in the fact that he was powerless to really carry out any of his threats at the moment. One of the boys removed his hand from behind his back and dangled something in front of his face.

Hidan's eyes widened at what he saw.

"See Uncle Kurama was nice enough to help us find a gag that you wouldn't be able to take off."

"Get that the fuck away from me!" Hidan said wondering what kind of sick Uncle would give two thirteen year olds a ball gag to use.

"I don't think so." The one not holding the gag picked up the head.

Hidan could feel a little panic set in, "Wait, no, I… I won't talk anymore, I promise. Just don't use that thing."

"Now what kind of ninja do you take us to be?" the one holding the gag gave him a sceptical look.

"Seriously, just 'cause we're kids doesn't mean we're stupid."

The gag came towards him then so Hidan just clamped his jaw shut. He was _not _having that thing in his mouth, Jashin only knew where it had been.

But no luck.

The twins had the unfortunate advantage of leverage and determination. It only took them a moment to force his mouth open and shove the ball in, quickly doing up the strap behind his head. He screamed muffled obscenities at them from behind his gag as they just laughed at him.

Putting him back on the bench they walked back out still snickering. Never before had Hidan wished so badly for the ability to kill someone with a look before then he did in that very moment.

Over the next week Shina, with some help from Ayame and the Uzumaki twins, managed to create her restriction jutsu. Now all they needed was a test subject. All six of them were gathered in the lab as they tried to figure out who they could test it on that would be powerful enough but at the same time wouldn't ask too many questions. Shina was busy piecing together Hidans torso as the rest all lounged around on the stools and the floor throwing out names. Hidan, of course, was safely gagged so that they wouldn't have to listen to his bitching.

"What about one of the ANBU?" Kimi said playing tug-of-war with Gin, "I have a cousin."

"No, the ANBU are too nosy. They will definitely be suspicious as to why this kind of jutsu was created in the first place." Ayame sighed.

"I think just Jounin level will be enough." Shina said sliding a stich through the flesh in front of her.

"Well we could always ask one of our teachers." Akira suggested.

"No. Our Sensei will be just as nosy as any ANBU." Hiroshi said.

"And ours will wonder why you didn't ask yours." Ayame added.

"What about Kurama?" Daiki asked.

"Won't he be just as suspicious as anybody else?" Kimi said with a frown.

"Yeah, but Kurama won't immediately run off to the Hokage. His loyalty lies only with the Uzumaki, not Konoha." Daiki replied.

The other four looked at the twins.

"Really?" Ayame asked.

Akira sighed, "Yes, sort of. You have to remember that he is reeeeally old. One and half centuries is not a lot of time to form an attachment to a village. It's gonna take him awhile." He gave a half-hearted shrug.

"Weeeell, Kurama would make a good test subject. If he can't break it then we can be assured that Hidan won't be able to." Shina said after a moment of silence.

"Great, it's decided. You two get Kurama and we'll meet you over on Training Ground Three." Ayame said jumping off her stool.

Shina washed her hands off before grabbing up the scroll that was sitting on the bench as well as her notebook and pointed everyone at the door.

"Then let's go."

They all tromped out the door leaving Hidan to look after them a little mournfully. They had left the fucking gag on.

"UNCLE MATSU! UNCLE MATSU!"

Uzumaki Matsu gave a groan and rolled over on the couch he was trying to nap on so that his face was buried in his pillow. He knew those voices anywhere and they rarely meant good things for naps. Sure enough he was soon being shaken by his twin terror nephews.

"Uncle Matsu."

"What?" Came the muffled reply.

"Can we talk to Kurama?"

He shifted back around, so that he was lying on his back again and looked at the twins.

"Lemme just see if he's awake." He closed his eyes.

His whole demeanour changed subtly as he opened his eyes again. The bright blue now replaced by red, an indicator that Kurama was forefront. He gave a languid stretch before tucking his hands behind his head.

"What can I do for you two?" He asked.

"We need your help to test a new jutsu that Shina made." Akira said.

A gold eyebrow rose up, "What kind of jutsu?"

"Erm, a kind of restriction jutsu. She hasn't got a name for it yet." Daiki replied.

Kurama scratched at his cheek, "Why do you need me? Can't you just go ask one of your teachers?"

Subtle guilt flashed over the boys faces as they took a moment to formulate their answer. Kurama narrowed his eyes slightly; these boys were up to something. Most likely something they knew their elders wouldn't approve of.

"Um, well… the thing is…" Daiki started to say.

"It's made to restrict… um… strong shinobi." Akira mumbled.

"And we thought that if you couldn't break it then no one could." Daiki finished.

Kurama sat up and gave both the twins a hard look. Who on earth would warrant that kind of jutsu? It couldn't just be a prank because Shina wasn't the kind of kid that did that. So why would she need that? He gave a mental shrug, one way to find out.

"Alright let's go then." He said standing up.

The twins broke out in identical grins and each grabbed a hand to drag him off to the training grounds.

Ten minutes later they arrived at the training ground to find the rest of the group already there and waiting. Kurama folded his arms and gave Shina a _look_.

"Before I become your test subject, I would like to know _why_ you created this jutsu?"

The rest of the kids all turned their eyes to Shina to see what she would say. Shina made a face before giving a sigh.

"I'm a medic-nin in training and I have quickly learned that a lot of shinobi," she shot a look of her own at the twins, "don't like to stay in hospital for the prescribed length of time. I wanted to make something that could allow even a ninja as low level as a genin to be able to keep someone as high levelled as the Hokage firmly in the hospital bed."

"Hmm, sounds reasonable." Kurama scratch at his chin in thought, "Why all the secrecy though?"

"I wanted to complete it before I told the medic-nin. They wouldn't believe I could do it otherwise 'cause I'm just a kid." Shina mumbled crossing her arms.

Kurama took a moment to think. It all sounded perfectly reasonable and safe, no nefarious going on seemed to be involved. But he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it than that. He couldn't talk to Matsu about it because his vessel had decided to just go ahead and take his nap while Kurama had control over the body. For now, he decided to let it be. However he would keep an eye on them all.

"Alright, what do you need me to do?" He asked.

Shina brightened, "Could you just kneel down. You're really tall and I need to reach your head."

Kurama just chuckled as he went down on one knee before the girl. Ayame stepped over to stand next to Shina and opened the scroll she was holding.

"Ok, there are three parts to this." Shina started to explain to Kurama what she was doing, "First part is to establish a connection, this will lay down the foundation for the rest of the jutsu."

She bit her thumb to draw blood and made three hand seals. She then pressed her thumb to the point where his collarbones met leaving behind a small smear of blood before then pressing her thumb in the middle of the seal drawn on the scroll.

"Ok, second part lays down the control parameters. The only control parameters I have at the moment are partial control, full control and paralysis."

She did four hand seals this time reaching a hand around to the back of his neck to press against the base of his skull. A black seal line appeared, running right the way down his spine, whilst black chain patterned seals wrapped around each wrist and ankle.

"Last part locks it all down and seals you to the primary and secondary controller."

She only formed one hand seal this time before she pressed both her hands against his chest til they glowed faintly at which point she then removed them, placing one hand on the scroll and the other against her own chest. When she lifted her hands away he could see a small starburst pattern on the scroll and a quick peek down his shirt showed the same starburst on his chest.

"Ok. That's it. Now all we have to do is test all the various functions." Shina said with a proud smile.

"So I can get up now?" Kurama asked.

Shina giggled, "Yes. Its default is sleep mode; no control has been applied to you yet."

Kurama stood up and took a look at the seals around his wrist. He had to admit that he was impressed at Shina. The jutsu was a little lengthy but simple to remember and didn't require a lot of chakra to execute. He did notice that whilst it didn't need much chakra to execute it _did_ need at least rather good chakra control, which limited its use to those with naturally excellent chakra control and Jounin level shinobi. But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

"Well let's get testing." He said with a grin.


	3. Chapter 3

Yay! Next chapter.

*Picks up laptop and shakes off a few plot bunnies with some dark muttering* Damn things… these plot bunnies are becoming a nuisance.

Hmm, if you any questions about any elements of this story feel free to ask and I will answer with the next chapter.

Cheers.

Chapter Three

They spent almost an hour testing the limits of the jutsu. Shina did find herself dismayed when Kurama managed to make cracks in the seals but he assured her that he was only able to do it because of who he was. Other than that the jutsu was proclaimed successful. Kurama told Shina his observations of the jutsu which she quickly scribbled down in her notebook. The release of the jutsu was done with two hand seals and a hand pressed against his chest over the starburst. The seals all faded away as the jutsu was released.

Kurama gave the kids a wave as he walked off. Shina turned to her friends.

"Are you all satisfied that it works?"

One by one they all nodded with Hiroshi being the last to do so.

"Let's go do it now!" Shina said excitedly.

"No." Hiroshi said, "Do it tomorrow. We have to meet up with Sensei for training soon."

Shina deflated, "Oh, that's right. I forgot."

With goodbyes the children all split up and went their own ways.

**0o0o0o0**

The next morning Hidan watched with interest as Shina finished piecing the rest of his body together. He wisely decided to not verbally annoy her at the moment as he didn't feel like having the damn ball gag to be shoved in his mouth again. None of the other brats were currently around so the lab was quiet other than the sound of Shina doing her work.

Shina lined up the left arm to the stump using a little bit of chakra to stick it in place long enough for her stich it on. Apart from the head this was the last body part to be attached. She was able to work quickly, due part in fact to the sheer amount of stitching she had already done to piece this body together. With the last thread tied off she cut it and gave a sigh. Now for the head.

She jumped off the stool she was sitting on and stretched out the kinks in her back before walking over to Hidans head. He grinned up at her.

"Moment of truth, eh? Who's quicker, your jutsu or me?" he teased her.

She just gave him a smug grin, "You won't get the chance. I'm knocking you out."

"Awww, come on, where's the fun in that? Don't you want to go toe to toe with me, see if you're better than me?"

"No."

"Pffft, kill joy."

"Night night." Shina made a hand seal then laid her hands on his head.

He didn't bother fighting it. There was no point really as all it would accomplish was his head not being attached to the rest of his body, and he was _really_ sick of being just a head.

Shina's heart was thumping hard, this was the tricky bit. She had to work quickly to attach the head and do the jutsu before Hidan woke up. The duration of the knock out jutsu was dependent upon how much chakra the medic-nin used, and Shina's overall chakra capacity wasn't that large yet. She had poured in as much as she could spare and now she hoped it would be enough.

Quickly she transferred the head to the table and joined it up to the body. She then started placing the stiches as fast as she could, trying to stay somewhat neat at the same time. With a small sigh of semi-relief she did the last stich and tied off the thread.

Quickly Shina unrolled the scroll and started the first part. Once done she immediately moved onto the second part. As she placed her hand at the back of his neck she noticed his breathing start to quicken and his eyes starting to twitch. Crap, she thought, it's starting to wear off. The seals appeared on his body and she quickly snatched her hand away for the last part. Waiting for her hands to glow seemed to almost take an eternity as her heart was racing with nerves because Hidan was definitely starting to wake now. Finally her hands glowed and she snatched them away to place the one on her chest and the scroll just as his eyes slid open.

It was done. She snatched up the scroll and took a few steps back as Hidan slowly moved his arms, the cloth providing modesty slipped down his torso a bit as he sat up and looked down at his hands. He slowly closed and opened his hands a few times adjusting back to the feel of having his body back in one piece. Shina slowly placed her hand over the seal on her chest, getting ready to activate it.

"Heh," Hidan said as he examined his torso, "not a bad job kid." He took a closer look at the chain seal around his wrists before giving a wicked grin, "You better hope this works."

He twisted to jump off the steel table only to find himself frozen in place. He tried to move but no luck.

"It does work. I tested it on Kurama and he couldn't break it." Shina desperately tried to hide the shaking in her voice. She had never been so scared in her life. "Now, let's get you to lie back down for now."

Hidan gave a growl as he felt himself lying back down on the table quite against his will. Shina tucked the scroll away in her pocket and stepped closer. Taking a deep breath to steady herself she frowned down at him.

"Now, you need to learn some manners. To that end I will maintain total control. I am the primary controller and whomever I give the scroll to is the secondary controller." She took another deep breath; she was starting to calm down now, before continuing. "The _only_ reason that I have done this was so that I could examine how your immortality works. If you are co-operative you _might_ be able to earn some privileges. Now I'm going to let you get dressed then you are going to lay here for a while and think about what I have said. Any questions?"

"Are you really going to watch me dress?"

Shina puffed out her cheeks in embarrassment and irritation, "You don't have anything that I haven't seen in an anatomy book. Besides you can keep the cloth wrapped around your waist as you put your pants on."

"So? I ain't no fucking pervert. I would prefer if you weren't watching me." Hidan scowled.

"And I'm not stupid. If I look away you will try and kill me." Shina retorted.

"….true. Fine you paranoid little brat. Let me get some clothes on already."

Shina went over to one of the benches and picked up the shirt and pants that Ayame had procured for her days ago. Placing them next to his head she then took several steps back and put her hand over the seal on her chest, giving him back control of his body. However she kept her hand there as she kept a sharp eye on him, ready to paralyse him should he make one wrong move.

Hidan gave her another scowl as he sat up. Tucking the cloth around his waist he grabbed the clothes and turned his back to her. Quickly he pulled the pants on, removing the cloth, before slipping the shirt on. Once done he turned back around and crossed his arms to level a glare at the Nara girl. This was fucking ridiculous, held hostage by a fucking _child_ of all people.

"Now are you going to lie down or am I going to make you?" Shina asked.

He rolled his eyes and climbed onto the uncomfortable steel table to lie down. He felt a light tingle of chakra run down his spine as she activated the seal again. Once assured that he was back under control she approached.

"I'm going out. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Can I get a bloody pillow at least?"

"No. Pillows are a privilege."

"What! Fuck that! I've spent the last week and a half being at the mercy of you fucking little shits and your god damned gag. I think I deserve one fucking pillow!"

Shina put her best glare on, "You have been nothing but a pain. You swear, you insult us, you _just_ tried to kill me and you think you deserve a pillow?"

"….Yes."

She made a noise of disbelief that was part scoff and part snort.

"Alright, alright…. What if I didn't insult _you_ anymore, can I get a pillow then?"

She just gave him a look before shaking her head and grabbing the cloth. Folding it up she then put it under his head.

"There. You still have to earn a proper pillow. If you do insult and annoy me not only will I take your pillow away but I will also give the secondary control scroll to the twins and let them do whatever they want with you for twenty four hours."

Hidan just gave a grimace, in his opinion that was just a dirty, low blow move.

"Fine." He muttered looking away.

With a nod Shina turned and walked out. Once she closed and locked the door behind her she leant on the wall and took a couple of deep breaths. That was more than enough excitement for her today; she had to go find Ayame now to give her the scroll.

**0o0o0o0**

Over the next five days the rest of the group came by at one point or another to see the now fully put together Hidan. He had so wanted to pitch the gag at the twins head when they came by but was unable to due to the fact that he was not allowed to move. He settled instead for growling at them as they circled him like a pair of red-headed sharks.

Currently he was standing in the middle of the room with his shirt off and his arms up as Shina removed stiches and prodded at the healed flesh, marvelling at the speed at which he had healed. She gave one area a hard poke.

"Does that hurt?"

"No." he replied in a bored tone.

"What about here?"

"No."

"Hmm." He felt her chakra enter his body and spread around feeling out his internal organs. "This is amazing; you have even regenerated the missing bits of organs that I couldn't find." She turned to scribble something in a notebook she had just for her examination of him.

Sweet fuck Hidan was bored. So bored that he even put effort into modulating his mouth just so that Shina would stay and talk to him. Dear Jashin, how low had he sunk? Relying on a thirteen year old for conversation. Him, one of the feared Akastuki, hunter of Jinchuriki, reduced to being a medical prop for a teenaged girl. This whole situation was just inherently _wrong_. But what could he do about it? Sweet fuck all.

He sighed, what had he ever done to deserve this?

"What's wrong with you?" Shina asked in a slightly irritated tone.

Hidan just gave a grunt, "Just thinking about how my life is all sorts of fucked up at the moment."

"Oh boo hoo. I think you are getting everything you deserve." Shina replied.

"Oh yes because you are such a fucking role model." Hidan said sarcastically, "Holding someone prisoner so that you can perform medical experiments. Sounds to me like you are on the fast track to becoming a criminal yourself."

Shina puffed herself up in anger, "I am not a criminal! I am nothing like you and that stupid group you were in. Besides, this is a whole different situation!"

"Oh? Tell me then, how the fuck is this different?"

Shina actually took a moment to think and was forced to come to the sad conclusion that he was somewhat right. But she didn't want to admit that to _him_. So she just crossed her arms with a huff.

"I'm not a criminal." She muttered, more to herself then him.

Awkward silence fell in the lab for a few moments. Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Well if you are done, can I get my bloody shirt back on? It's getting cold."

"What? Oh. Yes." She placed her hand over the seal and glued her eyes to him as he regained control of his own limbs.

He gave his arms a shake to get the blood flowing back into them before slipping the shirt back on and looking at her expectantly.

"Back on the table." She muttered.

With a grimace he climbed back on the steel table and got as comfy as possible before she took control again. Without another word she turned and left.

**0o0o0o0**

What began as an attempt to differentiate the twins had evolved into learning about all of the young teenagers that made up his captive conspiracy group. With their comings and goings in and out of the lab over the past couple of weeks he had managed to learn a lot about them, some of which he was willing to bet they didn't even know about themselves.

He had learned that whilst Shina had a remarkably intelligent and flexible mind, she also showed a singular talent for manipulation and a determined, almost obsessive, focus. She had the potential to become a kunoichi with an excellent talent for covert information gathering or Research and Development. However it was a double edged knife, if given a push in the right direction she could also develop into the type of ninja that would be along the lines of Orochimaru and his little bitch Kabuto.

But he was pretty sure that wouldn't happen as her little team mate Hiroshi wouldn't let it. The Hyuuga boy was soft spoken and gentle but Hidan could see the hard steel hidden beneath his fluff. One day he was going to surprise a lot of people with that steel. Hidan could also see that Hiroshi also had a crush on Shina which is why she would never end up on the dark side. He was also pretty sure that neither teenager realised the crush.

Now Kimi and her little puppy Gin were starting to become a bit of a favourite with him as he found out that she often wailed on the twins. She loved to be the first one in a fight, and she loved even more to beat her opponent and prove her superiority. She was the type that made an excellent soldier, follow orders and fight like a demon. But hell, even _he_ knew that she needed to grow _some_ brains otherwise she would just be used. But then again, maybe that was what the dog was for?

Erg, the twins, a target made torture device just for him. He wanted nothing more than to grind those two little twerps into the dust and gloat over them. However he had noticed that they tended to be more dangerous and when they were together as opposed to apart. He was starting to find the subtle differences between them which meant he knew exactly which one would get what pounding once he figured a way out of this damn seal.

He had almost laughed himself sick when he found out Ayame didn't have her Sharingan. All that earned him was the spiteful little bitch shoving the gag in his mouth rather than just politely asking Shina to shut him up. His opinion was that those Uchiha placed too much importance on that damn kekkei genkai of theirs. Ayame was a very intelligent girl in her own right, after all she had helped Shina create this bloody jutsu, but she was also full of that annoying Uchiha pride and arrogance. Seriously did they have some sort of special diet for that or what?

He was happy that he now had a somewhat more comfortable place to sleep now. The day that he had accused Shina of becoming a criminal in the making she had come back several hours later with a fold out cot, flat pillow and a blanket. He didn't complain and he didn't regret what he said, hell it got him a bed after all.

The biggest problem he had now was that with Shina having a life outside of the lab to live he had copious amounts of time to just lay there and think. At first he had spent his time thinking about various torture methods that he could inflict on all of them which had kept him sufficiently entertained, but that was starting to wear thin. He was frustrated with his enforced stillness, being still was not the kind of person he was. And spending copious amounts of time just thinking was starting to give him a headache. It was also leading him into thinking about things that he would rather not think too hard about.

Like his religion.

That was something Hidan didn't want to delve too closely into, but he couldn't help his thoughts drifting in that direction due to just a sheer lack of material to think about. That and the fact that he no longer had his pendant it was inevitable that his thoughts would stray to that. He was starting to feel a little lost, he had been good to Jashin so why was it that he had been landed in this situation? First dismembered, buried for 160 years and now being used as an oversized doll. Where had he gone wrong? God damn he wished he could move! He just wanted to hit something and relieve some of his pent up frustration. He had to settle for the next best thing.

He pouted.

The lab door opened with a bang and he heard footsteps stomp in. Thank fuck! There was someone here! At that moment he couldn't care less if it was the twins, just so long as he had _someone_ to talk to. He couldn't see whom it was straight away as his makeshift bed had been placed in a spot so that it wouldn't be visible from the door. The door slammed shut and Shina came stomping around the bench kicking one of her stools across the room.

"Bad day?" Hidan asked from the bed with a smirk.

Shina swung around to glare at Hidan. She had for a moment forgotten that he was here, coming to the lab as it was her private place and she knew that she could vent her anger at things without worrying about anyone in her family finding out.

"Why is it that just because I'm not good at forming battle strategies I am too stupid to understand her snide comments!" She yelled suddenly as she started to pace back and forth.

"Er…" Hidan didn't know how to respond to that. Shina didn't seem to hear him, as she ploughed ahead with her rant.

"I mean seriously! Where does she get off thinking that she is _soooo_ much better just because she plays shogi and is said to be the next great strategist! ARRRG!" Another stool went flying across the room. Shina seemed to lose steam after that, dropping to the floor to sit cross legged.

"Who thinks that?" Hidan couldn't help himself, he was curious.

"My older sister." Shina mumbled back with a scowl, "I know what they all think about me. I'm the strange child, I have too much energy, I don't fit the 'normal' Nara mould." She made quote marks in the air with her fingers at the word 'normal'.

"So? Who the fuck cares?" Hidan said.

"I do!" Shina looked up at him, "I just want them to acknowledge that I am smart to. Then maybe I won't get those _looks_."

"What looks?"

"The ones that say 'don't bother explaining to her she wouldn't understand'." Shina stood up and walked over to stand next to his bed and looked down at where he was laying. Hidan suddenly felt himself sit up on the cot and extend his right arm.

"I wish you would give me some bloody warning before you do that. It's weird to be suddenly moving with no control." Hidan grumbled.

Shina just ignored him as she pushed his shirt sleeve right up and examined his arm. Not a single mark remained to indicate that only a month ago he was in numerous pieces, not even scars could be seen. She had been thoroughly documenting everything about his healing process as he had healed and whilst she had so far managed to glean quite a lot of information, the real information she was chasing still eluded her. She had asked him weeks ago how the process had worked to render him immortal, he had just replied that he didn't really remember it that well. Shina had been annoyed at that response as it was very unhelpful.

"I think you're already plenty fucking smart. If they can't see that then they are the morons." Hidan muttered, not entirely sure why he said that.

Shina looked up at him surprised. Did he just say something _nice_? She ducked her head and gave a small smile.

"Thank you." She whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

*Grins like a stupid idiot* I'm so happy, I got my first reviews. Thanks very much to Duesal10 and RisingNight

*Clears throat* Moving on. The plot bunnies waged war and after several fierce battles I am now in talks with the plot bunny leader. Talks are still ongoing but so far compromises have been made, the results of which is that I have to go now find _names_ for the Hokage and Shina's Father to be used in later chapters. Well, off to some baby name websites then.

As promised, the next chapter. ^.^I'

Chapter Four

"Check this out!" Kimi burst into the lab with Gin yapping at her heels causing Shina and Ayame to flinch at the sudden influx of noise, "Papa showed me how to do a sleeper hold!"

Shina deftly ducked the attempted grab, "That's awesome and all but I can't see it if you do it on me."

Kimi paused and thought about it for a minute, "Your right. Let me show you on him then." She pointed to Hidan.

"Piss off! I'm not a fucking training dummy!" Hidan retorted angrily.

"You look like a dummy to me." Ayame said smugly.

"Shut up!"

"Sure, go ahead." Shina said to Kimi.

"What! No fucking way!" Hidan growled.

"On your knees." Shina said.

The chakra ghosted through the seal forcing him to kneel down. He was _sooo_ over this shit. Kimi stood behind him and wrapped her arm around his neck. He rolled his eyes.

"You're doing it wrong." He said as she tried to complete the manoeuvre.

"Quiet you. Training dummies don't talk." Ayame shot at him.

"Even _I_ know there's no point training if you are doing it _wrong_." Hidan shot back at her. He gave a 'tsk' as Kimi tried to figure out how to do it right.

"Oh for the love of… move your fucking arm around a bit more… that's right, _now_ you apply the pressure." Hidan instantly started to feel the effects, but before he could black out completely Shina stopped her.

"That's great Kimi." She said.

Kimi beamed with pride and picked up Gin. "Thanks Hidan." She said to the still kneeling ninja as she scampered back out the lab door, presumably to show someone else her sleeper hold. Hidan just gave a grunt in response as he stood back up.

Shina just shook her head and placed her hands on Hidan's torso to scan him with her chakra. Still being in the early stages of her medic training her knowledge was still limited. So for the time being she was using him to practice her chakra control and body scanning jutsu. She knew that there was a way to scan another persons' chakra, which was the next step she wanted to take but she didn't know how to do it. Shina made a mental note to broach the subject with her medic-nin sensei.

Ayame got off the stool she was sitting on and came over to stand next to them. She looked up at Hidan with a slight tilt of her head. A thoughtful look came over her face as stared at him. Hidan suddenly got a very uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Whatever she was thinking didn't bode well for him.

"You know, he has a really good hair colour for dyeing." Ayame said after a few moments.

Oh crap.

Shina stopped what she doing and took a step back to look up at him with a thoughtful look of her own.

"You're right. What colour should we do?"

Fuck!

"Don't you _dare_ fucking touch my hair!" he narrowed his eyes to glare at them.

The two girls gave a grin to rival the twins.

"I think we are overdue for a girls night in." Ayame said.

"That's a great idea!" Shina said, "We can camp out here in the lab."

A look of horror crossed Hidan's face. The two girls just giggled as they talked about what they could do.

**0o0o0o0**

Hidan was forced to re-evaluate his predicament. His much preferred being a medical prop to _this_.

He was sitting cross legged on a large cushion in the lab. Sitting around him in their pyjamas and discussing the pros and cons of various hair colours was Shina, Ayame and Kimi. Gin was curled on Kimi's sleeping bag watching the group whilst Ayame was behind him finger brushing his hair and braiding chunks of it before brushing it out and repeating the process. Shina and Kimi sat in front of him with a _very_ large pile of hair dyes in colours that spanned the entire colour spectrum.

"We should go for a purple or blue, something to match his eyes." Ayame said pointing over his shoulder at one of the boxes.

Hidan closed his eyes trying to find his happy place.

"Nah, I reckon we should make his hair the same colour as the twins." Kimi replied holding up a different box.

His eyes shot open and before he could think about it he said "Fuck no!"

Shina grinned up at him, "Oh? What colour do you prefer?"

"I like what I have now." He said through gritted teeth, not quite sure why he was actually discussing this with them.

"Hmm, maybe we should settle for a more subdued colour." Shina said holding up another box.

"I suppose. Having a more low-key colour would work better when you take him outside." Ayame said holding up his hair, "Maybe we should cut it as well?"

"Woah, back the fuck up. You're taking me outside?" Hidan said suddenly perking up.

Shina shrugged as she held up two different shades of brunette towards him, "I have talked to the others and I feel that you have earned a walk. You haven't been whinging and complaining as much, although you still swear a lot. So as long as you remain co-operative tonight then you get a walk."

A range of expressions crossed his face in a moment before he finally answered, "Please don't cut my hair." He mumbled with a small scowl.

All three girls grinned at him.

**0o0o0o0**

The next morning Hidan felt thoroughly violated.

Not only had they dyed his hair a non-descript brown but they had also given him a manicure, a pedicure and a face mask. The only positive was that they used a temporary hair dye instead of a permanent, which meant that it would eventually wash out. At the rate he was going it was surprising that he hadn't developed some sort of facial twitch. He closed his eyes, it didn't matter it had been worth it. The chance to go outside and feel some sunshine and breathe some fresh air was something that he was actually looking forward to.

For now the girls had left for their various houses to get ready for the day but Shina had promised to be back soon to take him out. So here he was, sitting on the bed waiting for Shina to return. He had given up at that this point wondering why this was all happening to him. It just wasn't worth the energy.

The door opened and Shina appeared in front of him. He found himself leaning forward allowing Shina to drape the cloak she was holding around his shoulders, he was then standing up and holding out his hand which was then grasped by Shina.

"We have to sneak past the main house and take some back streets so you have to stay quiet, if you can't then I will do it for you. We are going to the training grounds where we will meet the others."

"I know how to sneak. I _am_ a shinobi." Hidan grumbled.

"Good," Shina beamed, "Let's go then."

She led him out and released his hand so that she could lock the door. He blinked a few times in the bright sunlight and drew a deep breath in. This was wonderful! Shina slipped her hand back into his and led him off. He could feel how his own hand engulfed hers and it struck him then how small and young she was. How young they all were. For all their fierce intelligence and attitude the whole group of them were so fragile and inexperienced, able to be so easily crushed with nary a peep. For some reason the thought of any of them dying left a strange uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He frowned trying to figure it out but was distracted by them both crouching down behind a fence.

Shina reached behind him and pulled up the hood on his cloak before they proceeded to creep past. It wasn't very far before they were into the town proper and quickly walking through the streets Shina looking around nervously the whole time. Hidan sighed, she was too nervous. If someone took a casual glance they would be able to tell that something was wrong straight away.

"Calm down and act natural. Pretend you're just a kid going for a walk with her parent." He said quietly.

"Ssshh." Shina hissed back.

"You're being too bloody obvious." Hidan hissed back, "It you keep acting nervous then _anybody_ will be fucking suspicious."

Shina gave him a tight lipped look but slowed her pace and reduced the amount of looking around she did. Hidan noticed that she didn't like to admit when she was wrong. Or maybe it was just that she didn't want to admit that _he _was right. It wasn't long before they left the streets behind and made it to the training grounds. She took him all the way over to the most secluded field where he could see the rest of her group of friends sitting around or training.

"Where do you want to sit?" Shina asked releasing his hand.

He felt a tingle over his head as she gave him back control of his head. He took a quick look around before tilting his chin at a shady spot beneath one of the trees.

"Over there." He said.

She took him over and got him settled on the grass allowing him to rest his back against the tree trunk. Shina had left him with control of his head and wondered off to have a turn at sparring with one of her friends. Hidan leaned his head back against the trunk and closed his eyes. He would never take the outdoors for granted again. This was just pure bliss.

A shout was the only warning he got before a sharp pain pierced his leg. His eyes snapped open and he gave a shout.

"OW, WHAT THE FUCK!?" he yelled at the group upon seeing a kunai lodged in his shin, "WHY DON'T YOU LITTLE SHIT'S LEARN TO AIM!?"

Ayame and Shina came over and Ayame pulled the kunai out of his leg with an eye roll.

"Relax, it's not like it could've killed you." She said twirling the kunai on her finger.

"That's not the point you little bitch, it fucking hurts!"

"Don't call me a bitch!" Ayame shot back.

"I can call you what I damn well want!"

Ayame narrowed her eyes and before Shina could stop her she gripped the kunai and shoved it into the flesh of his thigh. Hidan gave another yell as Ayame stormed off in a huff.

"Fucking Uchiha's!" Hidan ground out as Shina removed the kunai, "Psycho's the whole lot of them."

Shina sighed and focused the chakra in her hands to heal over the wounds, "She's not a psycho, Ayame's just a little frustrated at the moment."

"What the fuck has the little Uchiha princess got to be frustrated at? Did she break a nail?" he said sarcastically.

Shina frowned, "No. Her brothers have been giving her hard time lately because she hasn't got her Sharingan. And this morning her younger brother even tried to put a genjutsu on her as a joke."

Hidan just gave a snort, "She does realise that having the Sharingan doesn't make you strong? Near as I can tell it just makes you an asshole."

Shina bit her tongue to stop herself from giving a giggle as she finished the healing. She had tried to tell Ayame that herself, but in much nicer terms. A shout of triumph made them both look up to see Kimi dropping one of the twins on the grass; he was unconscious presumably from Kimi's new choke hold move. The other twin seemed a bit lost with his brother down and out which made him an easy target for Kimi to get next. She pounced after him and he was off like a shot with both Kimi and Gin on his heels. Hidan gave a laugh.

"Heh, those twins don't have much individual skills do they?" he asked.

Shina just shrugged. "I should go make sure Akira is ok." She said.

He watched her trot over to the twin that was now starting to stir before taking a look at all the other kids. Ayame was now doing taijutsu sparring with Hiroshi, Kimi was still chasing Daiki whom showed a remarkable amount of agility and Shina was making sure that Akira hadn't had any long lasting effects.

As the day wore on they switched sparring partners and Hidan started to get a sense of how they all fought. Kimi and the twins were straight up and direct. They ploughed in and attempted to overpower their opponent just on sheer power and determination alone. Hiroshi had the fluid and precise style of the Hyuuga Clan. Ayame seemed a little uncertain, but show good dexterity, speed and precision. Shina fought smart, making good use of her excellent chakra control to maximise the duration of her shadow binding techniques; however he noticed that her fighting style was more along the lines of superb adaptation to her current situation rather than any planning ahead.

Late afternoon and all the kids were tired and dirty from the training so they all went their separate ways. Shina led him back through the village and sneaked back past the house. Once back in the lab Shina gave a small sigh of relief.

"Thanks for today." Hidan said quietly, "Despite the fact that I got a fucking _kunai_ in the leg, it was good to be out of the lab."

Shina shrugged, "Like I said yesterday, you earned it. I have to go but I'll be back tomorrow."

Hidan leaned down and Shina took off the cloak before making him settle on the cot. She placed the cloak over the bench and left.

**0o0o0o0**

Hiroshi gave a barely audible sigh, how did he allow Shina to talk him into this kind of stuff? He was in the lab with Shina and Hidan. Hidan was lying on the steel table with Shina standing next to it looking at Hiroshi expectantly. Hiroshi closed his eyes and gave his forehead a rub as he deactivated his Byakugan for a minute to give his eyes a rest.

"You are partially right." Hiroshi said to Shina, "His chakra isn't different or special. But it is more…hmm I suppose brighter? It's hard to explain."

Shina scribbled something down in her notebook, "Would you say that it was more vibrant? Like it's more alive compared to other peoples?"

Hiroshi activated his byakugan again and looked back over Hidan, "Yeeaah, that's a good way to describe it. How did you know?" He said slowly giving the immortal nin a poke in the bottom of his foot, "The chakra channels look a bit thicker too." He grabbed a toe and pulled the foot down a bit to take a closer look at the chakra channels. He was down by the feet as he deemed it a slightly safer place to be then up near the head. Despite the fact that Hidan was securely restrained and his attitude had somewhat improved, Hiroshi couldn't help but still feel a little nervous around him.

Hiroshi then heard a small strange noise, almost buried in the sound of Shina writing. With a mental shrug he brushed it off as hearing things and pulled down Hidan's other foot to study the chakra channels.

His head shot back up and he released his Byakugan, ok he had definitely heard something that time. Hiroshi looked at Hidan to find that Hidan was chewing on his bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood and keeping his eyes firmly on the ceiling. The Hyuuga narrowed his eyes in suspicion and kept his gaze on Hidan's face as he lightly ran his finger down the sole of the captive shinobi's foot.

Hidan made a strangled sound, this time loud enough to pull Shina out of her theorising and look at him with confusion. A sly smile spread slowly over Hiroshi's face as realisation sunk in. Hidan, all powerful immortal ninja and feared S-Class criminal had ticklish feet.

Oh, this was priceless.

Hiroshi drew his fingers back down the sole again and Hidan drew a sharp intake of breath and shot a dirty glare at him.

"Don't fucking do that." Hidan growled through gritted teeth.

Shina looked at Hiroshi confused, and Hiroshi just kept grinning.

"Don't do what?" Shina asked.

"This." Hiroshi answered and tickled the other foot.

Hidan sucked in another breath wanting so badly to kick his tormenter. Shina just hid her giggles behind her hand as she walked to the end of the table.

"Let me have a go." She said.

"NO!" Hidan sounded slightly panicked.

Too late.

"GAH! Stop it!" Hidan yelled, unable to escape the two teens that were tickling the bottom of his feet. Damn them both to hell for this!

Shina and Hiroshi both broke down in giggles as Hidan just growled at them.

"Ok, ok, we'll stop." Hiroshi gasped out between laughter.

"I fucking hate you both so much right now." Hidan said in a sulky voice.

Shina managed to stop her laughing but she still sported a wide smile. She went back over to her notebook and reread over what she had written. Hiroshi peered over her shoulder, trying to read what she had written only to frown slightly in confusion. However before he could form a question Shina gave him the reply.

"It's a precaution. I created this code myself for research purposes so that only I would be able to read my notes."

"Geez, you're more paranoid then I realised." Hiroshi said.

Shina just gave a shrug, "Well it's good for this research because it means I can work on it outside of the lab without anyone knowing."

"Hm. So why did you want me to look at his chakra system?"

"Because I think his so call immortality is bound up in his chakra system. I think his chakra has been altered so sustain him even whilst decapitated. As long as energy is fed into his chakra system, then his chakra keeps him alive. Theoretically, as long as he has chakra he can survive anything and live indefinitely. What I can't figure out is how he managed to survive a hundred and sixty years without his chakra system drying up."

Both the teenagers looked down Hidan.

"I dunno." Hidan said wishing he had enough control to shrug.

Shina rolled her eyes, "Great lot of help you are." She muttered.

Hidan just flashed a toothy grin at her. Shina sighed with frustration.

"I need to go to the library." She muttered as she made Hidan sit up and slide off the table.

"I'll come with you." Hiroshi said.

Hidan just started to make exaggerated gagging noises that earned him dirty looks from the other two.

"Go have a nap." Shina said grumpily making him walk over to his fold out bed and lying him down in it. Once he was down the other two walked out leaving Hidan to grin at them both, ah he found it enormously funny to tease them.

**Extra A/N: **Three young teenage girls with someone that is essentially a giant doll. You can't tell me that you didn't expect something like this to happen.


	5. Chapter 5

Ah next chapter. I must confess, I already have almost the entirety of this story written up, I just got to finish up the last bit. It's the only way that I can stick to a regular update schedule. But that being said, it doesn't mean I won't go back and rewrite sections if I get good ideas or suggestions from people.

And, I really did struggle with plot bunnies in first couple of chapters, it's at this chapter onwards that I finally gave in and allowed them free reign. This did lead to some amusing scenes and interesting bits of character development. But you will read about them in the coming weeks. So for now, enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter Five

Ayame just ground her teeth together as she tried to focus on the task in front of her. Holding up her kunai she aimed at the round wooden target in front of her and threw. It thudded four inches to the right of the centre.

"Missed." Hidan's voice rung out. Ayame didn't need to look at him to know that he had that _infuriating _smirk on his face, she could hear it.

"Was it really necessary to bring him?" Ayame ground out to her friend.

Shina sighed as she threw shuriken at her target. Ayame noticed that Hidan didn't see fit to point out when _Shina_ missed the centre.

"I had to reward him with _something_ after what I did." She replied.

Ayame gave her a look, "What did you do?"

"She dissected me." Hidan cut in.

A flash of anger and a bit of guilt crossed Shina's face, "I did not dissect you!" she said to Hidan before turning back to Ayame, "I made a few shallow cuts on his arm and got Hiroshi to observe how his chakra acted around the wounds. I anesthetised the arm so he wouldn't feel pain and that was only _after_ he agreed to let me do it." She shot the last part back towards Hidan. Hidan just grinned at her, man he loved to just mess with them.

Ayame lined up another shot at the target; she would have to go collect her kunai after this one.

"Why did you need to see how his chakra reacted?" the kunai flew towards the target and hit too far to the left this time.

"Missed."

"I think his chakra system has something to do with his immortality. I got Hiroshi to look at his system a few days ago and he said that it was different." Shina replied to her friend throwing three shuriken this time.

"Hn." Ayame grunted as she walked over to her target and gathered up her kunai. She walked back and continued her target practice.

The kunai hit the target.

"Missed."

Another thunk in the wood.

"Missed."

Ayame growled and threw again.

"Mis….oh fuck!"

Ayame had swung around and hurled a kunai straight at him. Hidan took a look at the blade buried in his gut. Fuck that hurt! But instead of yelling at her, he instead raised his head and looked her dead in the eyes. This was the second time she had stabbed him and now he was genuinely curious to see just how far she would go. How deep was her bloodlust? If she was _this_ stab-happy at this age what would she be like when she was older? Also how far could he wind her up before she snapped? So, knowing that it would hurt like all hell but still curious, he provoked her.

"Missed." He said with a sadistic grin.

Ayame just gave a growl of rage and raised her hand, ready to throw another kunai, only to be stopped by Shina.

"Ayame. Don't." Shina said through gritted teeth.

The Uchiha looked over at her friend ready to rant only to have her rage drain away at the look on Shina's face. Shinas face had a tightly drawn look, like she was in pain, but what for? Shina walked over to Hidan where she pulled the kunai out and started to heal him.

Hidan was confused now as well. Ayame walked over and stared down at her friend.

"Shina. What's wrong?" she asked in a tone that said she would take no brush off answers.

Shina tightened her lips before the combined weights of both Ayame and Hidan's stares got to her.

"I can feel it." She mumbled out.

"What?" Ayame asked, still confused.

Shina sighed, "I am linked to his nervous system via the seal. I can feel the pain from the kunai."

"What!" Two voices echoed in surprise.

"Shina! Why did you make it like that!?" Ayame said angrily at her.

"It's fine Ayame! I don't get the full force of it, just an echo. And doing it this way is what gives me the high degree of control." Shina frowned as she concentrated on her healing of Hidan's gut.

Hidan's estimation of Shina rose a few notches. She was proving to be one tough little cookie.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me earlier?!" Ayame shouted.

"Because it didn't matter!"

Ayame just threw her hands up in the air in exasperation.

"I'm going home." She said before collecting up her stray kunai and storming off.

Shina paused in her healing for a moment to rub her eyes with the heel of her hands before finishing off. Afterwards she just sat down in the grass and looked down at the ground.

"I don't know what the princess is so angry about." Hidan muttered after a few moments of silence.

"She'll be fine. Ayame's just worried about me; once she calms down she'll come talk to me about it." She said tiredly plucking at the grass.

Hidan gave a small frown, "You know I've been meaning to ask, which fucked up little Uchiha brother became the sperm donor for Konoha?"

"What?" Shina looked at him a little confused.

"Who restarted the Uchiha Clan?"

"Oh. That was Sasuke, his brother died in the war."

"War? What war?" Hidan asked.

"Um, the fourth Shinobi War. It started not long after you were buried."

"I missed a fucking war!" Hidan was aghast, "no fair!"

Shina just gave him a dirty look.

"Meh, I never said I was perfect. So I take it Sasuke was finally dragged back Konoha. Geez, you lot sure didn't want to lose that Sharingan."

"What are you talking about? As far as I know Sasuke wasn't dragged anywhere."

One of Hidan's eyebrows rose, "Looks like someones changed your history books." He said.

"Why would anybody want to do that?" Shina replied.

"Ah, maybe because the Uchihas were fucking missing-nins." Hidan said sarcastically.

"That's not right." Shina frowned, "Sasuke and Itachi were Konoha ninja."

Hidan just laughed. Oh this was just too funny.

"What are you laughing for?" Shina grumbled.

"Itachi wasn't a fucking Konoha ninja! He was in Akatsuki like me." Hidan kept laughing

"You're lying!"

Hidan stopped laughing and stared at her, "I'm a lot of things, but I ain't no fucking liar. I have no reason to be."

"But… it can't be true."

"Open your eyes. Itachi killed his whole fucking clan except his brother, then ran off and joined Akatsuki. Sasuke became a missing-nin brat and last I knew was hell bent on killing his older brother."

Shina looked horrified, "Why would they change the facts?" she whispered.

Hidan rolled his eyes, "Use your fucking brains, you already know why."

Shina drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. Yes, she did know. Loyalty. It was to keep the Uchiha clan loyal to Konoha.

"Please don't ever tell Ayame." She asked.

"Why?"

"All the Uchiha's are extremely proud of their clan and doubly proud to be Konoha ninja. Our current Hokage is Ayame's Uncle. Something like this would just hurt Ayame and I don't want that to happen to her."

"Fine." He grunted, "this shit is getting depressing I want to take a walk."

"Um, sure, that sounds like a good idea." Shina stood up.

Hidan was stood up and they both started to walk around the training field.

"So," Hidan looked down at Shina with a pointed look, "You can feel my pain? Why does that sound vaguely familiar?"

Shina gave a small smile, "Yes, I did draw some inspiration from your signature jutsu."

"Does _nothing_ creep you out?" Hidan asked.

"Um," Shina took a few moments to think, "I got freaked out when I first dug up your arm and it moved."

"And yet you still dug up the rest of my ass."

Shina gave a half shrug, "I told you my family thought I was weird."

Hidan just gave a grunt, "I'm not fucking complaining. I wouldn't be here now if you were any different."

"True, if it were anyone else in the clan they would've simply reburied you and told the clan elders."

"So why didn't you?"

"I wanted to know how your immortality worked. If I had reported your location then I would never have gotten the chance."

Hidan studied her for a moment.

"You are by far the fucking strangest kid I have ever known." Hidan said.

Shina just gave him a sly grin, "Meh, I never said I was perfect." She said cheekily.

**0o0o0o0**

"Come on Shina, pleeeeeeease."

Shina just shot a look at the two Uzumaki twins on their knees behind her begging.

"No."

Hidan sat on the cot watching the whole scene with amusement. Akira shuffled forward a bit and grasped his team mates foot.

"Shiiiiiinnnaaaaa. We're soooooooo boooooored. It's been weeks since we've been allowed outside the walls." Akira whined.

"That's not my problem. You know the orders, all genin have to stay inside the walls until they find them." Shina replied grumpily shaking the twin off her foot.

A few days after the gut stabbing incident all genin had been banned from leaving the village as there were reports of enemy ninja close to the walls and until they were found and eliminated then they were going to keep all genin out of target range. Several weeks had passed and Shina suspected that the higher ups were starting to get a little worried that they hadn't been able to catch the rogue group yet. Daiki shuffled forward now.

"Come on Shina. Just let us have him for half an hour. Pleeeeeaaase."

"Urg," Shina rolled her eyes and slumped in exasperation, "_Why_ do you need Hidan? Go get Matsu and Kurama to take you out."

Both the twins pouted at the same time.

"We can't." Daiki said.

"They're out on a mission." Akira added.

"Ug. What difference would it make having Hidan out there with you anyway?" Shina asked.

"He's S-Class. We take him with us and _technically_ we are following the rule of having a jounin level or higher accompany us outside the walls." Akira explained.

Daiki turned to Hidan, "Help us out here. You want to go out as well don't you?"

"Don't bring him into it!" Shina snapped.

Hidan put his best puppy dog eyes on, "But I've been so good. Don't I deserve a walk?"

Shina just made a sound of disgust, "You three are pathetic." She turned back to the books strewn out in front of her on the bench trying to ignore them in favour of studying.

But she could feel their stares boring in between her shoulder blades. She hunched her shoulders against them but it didn't work. A quick glance back showed all three of them trying to pull puppy dog eyes. Shina let her forehead thunk on the bench in front of her. Damn them all.

"_Fine_. But only if you get all of the rest of the group to agree. And _I_ will be controlling him."

With noises of glee the twins scampered out of the lab. Shina scowled and went back to her books

"So we're going outside the walls?" Hidan asked.

"No. Hiroshi is such a stickler for the rules he won't agree to it." Shina replied.

Hidan gave a smirk, "And yet here's little ol' me, the biggest bloody broken rule possible and he still hasn't made a peep."

**0o0o0o0**

Shina hated it when Hidan was proven right. She knew Ayame and Kimi would say yes but _Hiroshi_? Needless to say she was surprised when the Hyuuga showed up at the lab with the rest of them agreeing to the field trip. This had led to her and the rest of the group sneaking out of Konoha with Hidan for a trip outside the walls. _Why_ did she let them talk her into this?

They were all currently hidden in the trees on the edge of one of the training fields. Hiroshi was using his Byakugan to make sure no one had spotted them leaving.

"All clear." He said.

With grins they all jumped out of the trees.

"Race you all to the lake!" Daiki shouted before taking off.

Akira, Kimi, Gin and Ayame all took off after him. Hiroshi stayed with Shina and Hidan as they took a slower pace. Shina gave Hiroshi an annoyed look.

"Why did you agree to this? I thought for sure you would be against this." She asked.

Hiroshi grinned, "I'm allowed to break the rules once in a while." He replied.

Truth was, he had said no at first. But then Akira had played dirty and blackmailed him into saying yes. He was definitely going to kick his team mates' ass six ways to Sunday the first opportunity he got.

It didn't take long before they reached the lake to find the twins, Kimi and Gin knee deep in the water splashing each other with water as Ayame stood on the bank waiting for them. Shina waved at those in the water.

"Come on guys, let's head back. It's been long enough."

Akira paused, "Oh come on Shina, we just got out here. Just a bit longer."

Shina screwed her face up, "I don't like this. This is just begging for something bad to happen, please let's head back now."

"Alright," Akira said with a sigh, "Come on guys."

The group in the water waded out to the bank. As they were climbing out something prickled on the edge of Hidan's awareness. His senses sharpened as he took a quick look around.

"Shina." He said quietly, "release the control."

Shina turned from her friends to look up at him with a confused frown when a whistling noise was heard. None of the kids could react in time and he could only watch paralysed as a kunai shot out of the trees straight for them.

The sickening sound of the blade hitting flesh froze the teenagers and that was when Hidan saw only one of them reacted fast enough.

"Shina." Hiroshi rasped out as he gave a cough, blood bubbling over his lips as he stood in front of Shina with the kunai protruding out of his chest.

He fell to his knees and several things all happened at once. Shina unfroze grabbing the Hyuuga helping to lower him to the ground gently whilst the rest of the group snapped out of their trance and pulled out kunai's of their own to ring the other two in defensive positions.

"Hiroshi!" Shina's voice was shaking and tears were falling as she pulled the kunai out and tried to focus on calling her chakra to heal him.

"Shina! Release the fucking control so I can help!" Hidan growled at her.

"I…. I can't." her hands shook as she finally got her chakra flowing, "You're a criminal. Who's to say you won't kill us."

Hidan growled at her, "Fucking hell! I said I would bloody help. If you don't release me then they _will _fucking kill all of you!"

Shina looked up at the rest of her friends but they were scared and couldn't offer any help, instead they were looking to her for guidance. Her chakra fluctuated for a moment as she rubbed her eyes on the sleeve of her shirt. Shit! What was she going to do?

"SHINA!" Hidan yelled at her knowing that the enemy ninja's confusion over his lack of reaction was going to clear up very quickly.

But Shina couldn't hear him, all her focus had narrowed down to keeping Hiroshi alive, as it was all she could do with her mind frozen in indecision.

"Shina." She gave a start as Hiroshi's hand laid over hers and he said her name quietly, "Do it."

Shina stared at him, tears flowing down her eyes, "But…" she was cut off by him squeezing her hand.

"Dead either way….take a chance." He rasped as he slipped into unconsciousness.

"Hiroshi!" She poured more chakra into him, desperately trying to keep him alive long enough for her to heal him.

One of the enemy ninja appeared in front of them with a sly grin.

"Well, well, what have we here? Target practice?" he mocked them as he twirled a kunai around his finger.

He suddenly flung the weapon so that it hit the ground at Daiki's feet, making him flinch and step back. The enemy nin laughed. Hidan growled at him, powerless.

Something snapped in Shina at the sound of the enemy nin's mocking laugh. Her mind sharpened to crystal clear clarity as she glared up at the enemy.

"Oh, you angry about your wittle friend." He mocked.

Her hand flew up to her chest where the seal was.

"Get him." She growled to Hidan.

Hidan gave an elated grin as he felt the tingle run over his entire body and he regained full control of his limbs for the first time since he was stitched back together. He didn't need to be told twice and before the enemy could blink he was on him. There was a sickening sound of a neck snapping before Hidan disappeared into the trees to take out the rest of the group.

"Ayame! Kimi!" Their heads snapped towards Shina at the sound of her voice." You two are the fastest. Run back towards the village and get help. Make as much noise possible and flare your chakra."

The two girls hesitated for a moment until Shina snapped at them, "GO!"

They took off. Shina directed her attention to the twins.

"Guard us." She said simply.

Akira gave a nervous swallow as he repositioned to cover the gap left by the girls. Shina turned her attention back to Hiroshi. At that moment nothing else mattered but keeping Hiroshi alive. She vaguely took note of screams that could be heard as Hidan took out all his pent up frustrations on the enemy group.

Silence descended. A gasp was heard from one of the twins as Hidan reappeared next to Shina, covered in blood. He looked down at Shina, her hands covered in blood and glowing green as she poured everything she had into keeping her friend alive.

Hidan kneeled down beside them and touched Shina on the shoulder. She snapped out of the trance she had fallen into and looked up at him.

"Can he be moved?"

Shina blinked a few times before looking back down at Hiroshi. After a moment she gave a mute nod. Hidan gently scooped up Hiroshi and stood up. He turned to head to the village but was stopped by Shina.

"Wait." She murmured before walking over to the corpse of the enemy ninja.

A dark expression came over her face as she delivered a vicious kick to the dead body. The twins just looked at her concerned. They had never seen her like that, and it scared both of them a little. Shina just turned away from the body and walked off towards the village followed closely by Hidan carrying Hiroshi. Akira and Daiki fell into step behind them both, giving them a little space.

They didn't get far before they met up with a group of Konoha ninja. Hidan tilted his head down slightly to hide his face in the shadow of the hood on his cloak. The captain took one look at the pale form of Hiroshi in Hidan's arms and Shina's bloody hands and waved them to follow. They reached the nearest gate to find another group waiting for them. The twins raced ahead as they recognised their parents and Matsu amongst those waiting at the gate. Matsu appeared to have just arrived as he was still carrying his mission pack. Two people rushed forward towards Hidan and Hiroshi. One was Hiroshi's mother and the other was Shina's medic-nin sensei, Kyoko. Kyoko held out her hands, already glowing with green chakra. Hidan stopped but still kept a hold of Hiroshi until Shina lightly touched his elbow. Gently he placed Hiroshi into his mother's arms and took a few steps back. Kyoko laid her hands on him and gave a quick scan. She looked proudly down at her student.

"You did well Shina. He will be fine."

Tears spilled from Shina's eyes as relief settled in and people crowded around.

In all the chaos Hidan slipped away.


	6. Chapter 6

Oh noes, Hidan is now on the loose. Whatever is going to happen now? Read and find out.

Cheers.

Chapter Six

The next couple of days passed in a blur for Shina. There was a lot of yelling and crying and lecturing then the questions. By a mutual non-verbal agreement the six teenagers all claimed Hidan as just a random stranger that helped them. For breaking the Hokage mandated order all six of them were confined to the village for two months, which also included their missions. None of them argued against the punishment. This was in addition to the individual punishments doled out by angry parents.

Ayame had to work in the Hokage tower as one of her Uncles assistants for three weeks. This was mostly tedious filing of boring records, drink runs, message deliveries, cleaning and basically any other small tedious thing that her Uncle could think of. For Ayame the worst part was the disappointment that radiated off her Uncle at her for bringing shame to the Uchiha name.

Kimi was made to clean out the kennels for two weeks. She was also fitted with a tracking bracelet that allowed her parents to know her location at any given time. It was humiliating as only the very young puppies and children under five wore the tracker. The implication being that she couldn't be trusted to look after herself.

Hiroshi suffered no additional punishment from his parents as they felt that almost losing his life was enough. But he still had to adhere to the Hokage's punishment. Due to Shina's quick treatment of his injury he was able to be released from hospital a few days later with nothing more than a sore chest, a scar and an order to take it easy for the next week.

Akira and Daiki had to clean the academy top to bottom, by themselves with Matsu supervising them. They claimed the worst part for them was cleaning the toilets but in reality it was disappointing their favourite Uncle.

Shina was simply grounded to her room for two weeks. Her father seemed a bit at loss as to how to punish her any other way. He simply couldn't understand how his wayward younger daughter thought. He had always had trouble relating to her, so he wasn't sure the best way to really make her appreciate the worry she had put him and her mother through.

Four days after the incident Shina sat on her bed watching the night time sky unable to go back to sleep. Even though she knew that Hiroshi was fine she still spent the last three nights waking up in a cold sweat from nightmares of blood and Hiroshi dead. Shina rubbed at her tired eyes; if she couldn't sleep then she might as well do something constructive with her time. So with that she slipped out her bedroom window and snuck out to her lab. Her notebook and other research materials were all still out there, sprawled over the bench where she had left them.

She stepped in swinging the torchlight in front of her. That was when something in the middle of the room caught her eye. Walking over she shone the light down directly on it, her sleep deprived brain taking longer than normal to comprehend _what_ it actually was.

It was the ball gag they had used on Hidan, the bright red ball was crushed to several pieces and the black leather straps cut to shreds. Suddenly the gears in her brain ground into action and her eyes widened in comprehension as at the same time she heard something move. She dropped her torch as she automatically shot her hand to the seal on her chest only to be stopped before she could touch it and activate it. She looked at the large hand that grasped her wrist in horror not even thinking to use her other hand.

"Oh for fucks suck relax. If I was going to kill you I would've done it already."

Her eyes slowly rose up to look at Hidan. He rolled his eyes and turned his head away.

"Tch, if it makes you feel better." He released her wrist.

But Shina was just frozen in shock and surprise. Her hand dropped back to her side without activating the seal. Surprise briefly shot over Hidan's face before he moved back over to the cot and sat down on it. Shina picked up her torch, but kept the beam of light pointed down to the floor as she held it loosely in her hand. Finally she found her voice.

"What are you doing here?"

Hidan shrugged, "Fucked if I know. I suppose I had nowhere else to go." He peered at her in the dim light provided by the torch, "You look like absolute shit."

"Thanks." Shina snapped back sarcastically. He just gave a quick grin.

Shina opened and closed her mouth a few times before she spoke, "What do you mean you have nowhere else to go?"

Hidan gave a snort, "I'm a hundred and sixty years out of my time, where the fuck_ am_ I supposed to go? It's not like I can just run off back to the Akatsuki." He made a running motion with his fingers, "And if I simply resumed doing my Jashin ritual then it won't be long before I have a fucking group of bloody hunter-nin on my ass that will know _exactly_ how to take me down. And I don't feel like getting reburied again. I can't join up with another village because any brat that has cracked open a history book will know who the fuck I am the first time I don't dodge an attack." He ran a hand through his hair, "At least here I have a bed," he patted the cot, "and a roof." He pointed to the ceiling.

"Oh." Shina didn't know what else to say.

"How's the Hyuuga brat?"

"He… he's fine. I heard he's out of the hospital and resting at home."

"Heh that kid is a lot tougher then I gave him credit for. Quicker too."

The image of Hiroshi covered in his own blood and deathly pale rose to the top of her mind and Shina wrapped her arms around herself to try and protect herself from the imagery. She drew a shuddery breath in.

"He almost died." She said quietly, "There was so much blood."

She was shocked out of her internal demons by a flick on the forehead. Shina blinked a few times and looked up at Hidan whom was crouched in front of her.

"He didn't. So take a fucking spoonful of cement and harden up because this won't be the first time you'll be elbows deep in a friends blood and guts."

Shina stared at him as his words sunk in. Suddenly she did something that surprised her as much as it surprised him.

She flung her arms around his neck and hugged him.

Hidan was frozen in surprise for a moment before he gave a grunt and peeled her arms off and put her at arm's length away from him.

"Yeeeeaah don't fucking hug me. I'm not a hugging person, it weirds me out."

Shina cracked a tired grin. He made a shooing motion at her.

"Go back to bed. You're keeping me from my fucking beauty sleep. We can talk in the daylight."

She shook her head, "I can't, I'm grounded. But I will try to sneak back tomorrow night."

"Grounded? That's it?"

"No, that's just what my parents punished me with. The Hokage confined us all to the village for two months." She gave a yawn, "I'm gonna go now."

Hidan just shooed her off so she left the lab and snuck back into her room. As she lay back in her bed she felt a great sense of relief as a weight lifted from her shoulders and she fell asleep.

**0o0o0o0**

Matsu sat in his office. To anyone looking at him he would appear to be lost in thought, but in reality he was deep in his own mind talking to Kurama.

"We need to find the stranger that helped the children." Kurama said shifting his body to one side.

"I know. But the kids aren't saying anything." Matsu crossed his arms.

When Hiroshi was handed over to his mother he had glimpsed something familiar wrapped around the strangers wrists. It was the same chain pattern that was a part of Shina's restriction jutsu. They _knew_ that Shina had been hiding something, but without something more solid they couldn't confront her just yet.

"Maybe we should tail them, see what they do." Matsu suggested.

Kurama gave a huff, "If it was just the twins that would be easy to do. But something tells me that Shina is the ringleader for this one and she has the kind of careful personality to be aware of being followed."

"Then we'll have to keep an eye on them and wait for the right opportunity."

**0o0o0o0**

It was three weeks before all teenagers were able to meet up together as a group. They had all found themselves at the far training field they usually met in. Shina looked at her friends knowing what they wanted to ask her but none of them willing to be the first ones to do so. Finally it was Hiroshi that broke the silence.

"What happened to Hidan?" he asked.

Shina opened her mouth but was cut off from answering as Hidan suddenly appeared on the field and looked around at the other five teenagers that had frozen where they stood. He gave a grin and before any of them could react he grabbed Hiroshi by the ankle and held him upside down. Hiroshi yelled and squirmed in fear trying to break free from his grasp.

"Hidan!" Shina yelled, annoyance lacing her voice.

Hidan ignored her as he casually pulled Hiroshi's shoe off. The rest of the group were still frozen in indecision and fear, wanting to help Hiroshi but simply unable to. However none of them expected Hidan to do what he did next.

He tickled Hiroshi on the sole of his foot.

Hiroshi's yelling and squirming took on another tone as he was helpless to stop the torture.

"Yeah, not so fucking funny when it's happening to you, is it?" Hidan said still mercilessly tickling his foot.

"GAH! STOP IT! PUT ME DOWN!" Hiroshi yelled his face starting to go red.

"I'm sorry, what was that? An apology?" Hidan said taking a pause in his tickling.

"Screw you!" Hiroshi yelled up at the immortal nin flustered and humiliated.

"That's not something very nice to say to the person that saved your ass." Hidan said as he just resumed his tickling.

"AAAHH! Alright! Alright, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Hidan stopped and lowered Hiroshi to the ground with a surprising amount of gentleness. Hiroshi lay on the ground regaining his breath as Hidan just grinned down at him with his arms crossed. A muffled snort of laughter broke the tension and he looked up and over to the rest of the group. One of the twins had his hands clapped over his mouth and his eyes wide as his brother, Kimi and Ayame just stared at him in horror.

"Oh, I got something planned for each and every one of you little shits." Hidan said taking a step towards them.

With a shriek they scattered leaving Shina to just facepalm and shake her head. Hidan let them have a head start before disappearing after them.

The Uzumaki twins were his first target. He found the duo vainly trying to hide in a tree. With a sadistic grin he appeared in front of Akira and grabbed him first by the scruff of his shirt. His yelp of surprise alerted his brother but Hidan wasn't worried, Daiki wasn't as fast as Akira, evident in the fact that Daiki hadn't managed to take two steps before Hidan grabbed him with his other hand. With a quick movement he delivered them both a kick up the ass each before dropping them on the grass and disappearing.

The next kid he found was Kimi and her little puppy Gin, trying to hide underneath a bush. They actually managed to detect him and took off. But it didn't help them as Hidan grabbed the girl and put her in a headlock. Extending two knuckles he proceeded to vigorously rub the top of her head in a noogie. Gin latched sharp little teeth onto his pant legs in a vain attempt to help her partner. Hidan just casually reached down and grabbed Gin by the scruff. He took a quick look around and spotted a small stream. With a grin he made his way over, still keeping a hold of Kimi. Clods of dirt were churned up by Kimi's feet as she was dragged along. Reaching the stream he gave a twist of his wrists, sending both girl and dog straight into the water. By the time they had managed to stand, spluttering and cursing, Hidan had disappeared.

Last on his list was Ayame. He managed to find her quick enough. The little minx had seen how ineffective hiding from him was so she had decided to make a stand in the middle of the field. With a grin he stood across from her and gave his shoulders a casual roll. Ayame just glared at him and pulled a kunai out taking a defensive stance. Hidan's grin grew wider and he moved. Ayame tried to dodge and whilst she managed to slip past his first grab, she couldn't evade his second grab. She yelled and squirmed whilst he pinned her securely in a headlock and dragged her over to the same stream he had dumped Kimi and Gin in. Crouching by the bank he scooped up a big handful of mud. The look of sheer horror painted on her face was almost priceless. It became more then priceless when he took the mud and smeared it over her face. Ayame was released and by the time she realised and swung around with a growl Hidan was already gone.

One by one they all regrouped back to where Shina was sitting with Hiroshi, trying to understand what just happened.

"Not that I'm complaining or anything, but why didn't you kill us?" Ayame asked Hidan as she wiped the mud off with a look of disgust.

Hidan just shrugged from his tree branch that he was sitting on reclined against the trunk, "This was much more entertaining than outright killing you. This way I get to see your reactions."

"Why didn't you get Shina?" Daiki complained as he gingerly sat on the grass.

"Meh, I figured scaring the absolute shit out of her the other night good enough. By the way, you all _really_ suck at hiding." He suddenly flung a small wrapped package at Daiki, "I believe this is yours."

Daiki caught it and unwrapped it to find the pieces of the ball gag resting in the cloth wrapping. Akira gave a snicker as he poked at it.

"Yeah laugh it up." Hidan muttered before turning to Hiroshi, "And you, what kind of fucking moron catches a kunai with his chest?"

"_You_." Hiroshi muttered back with a scowl and crossed arms.

"Yeah but I can't die. You could've saved yourself a trip to the bloody hospital and just caught the fucking thing."

Hiroshi just looked away, not willing to admit to him that at the time he just didn't think of it. All he had been concerned with in that moment was keeping Shina safe.

"Seriously, what are your fucking teachers doing?" Hidan said to the group in general.

"Their jobs." Ayame snapped, "And they're doing it just fine."

"Pffft." Was all Hidan said.

"Um, he might have a point." Daiki muttered almost too quietly.

Ayame glared at him causing Daiki to just glare back at her, "Don't give me that look Ayame. After all Naruto, Sasuke and the others were our age when they entered the chuunin exams for the first time. Hell, Shikamaru actually passed and became a chuunin."

"Yeah but that was a different time." Akira said to his brother, "They had the Akatsuki after them."

"So? If all our ancestors were strong enough to be entered into the chuunin exams at that age then we, as their descendants, should be just as strong." Daiki argued, "Besides, technically we still have Akatsuki here." He pointed up at Hidan.

Hidan just gave a derisive snort.

"So what? You want him to train you now?" Ayame said sarcastically to Daiki.

Kimi's eyes widened at that thought, "Now that's a good idea!" She exclaimed.

A small rock bounced off her forehead, making her scowl and rub the sore spot.

"I ain't a teacher." Hidan said simply, readying another small rock to fling at the next kid to suggest such a thing.

"But you can't deny that at least sparing against you would improve our skills." Daiki said. He just managed to duck the rock aimed for his head.

"Actually, that is a good idea." Shina said dodging the rock that was aimed for her and looking up at Hidan, "Think about it, you could beat up on the twins on a regular basis."

Hidan couldn't deny that the concept was attractive. The opportunity to pound on them regularly would be an enormous amount of fun. A sly grin spread over his face as he thought of the other humiliating kind of things he could visit upon the others as well.

"I am _not_ going to spar against _him_." Ayame stated folding her arms and sticking her nose in the air.

"You gonna rely on your non-existent Sharingan to fight the enemy then?" Hidan taunted her, warming up to the idea of torturing the group under the guise of sparring, "you can't even hit the centre of a fucking target."

Ayame went stiff all over and Hidan thought she would fly into a rage and attack him. Needless to say he was surprised when she didn't. Her arms dropped and she went to walk off.

"Ayame…" Shina went to follow her friend, seeing the glimmer of tears building in the Uchiha's eyes.

But Hidan moved first. He planted himself in front of Ayame forcing her to stop. She quickly wiped at her eyes and tried to go around him but he just side-stepped to stop her.

"Really?" Hidan said to her, "You gonna go off and have a cry 'cause you don't have some fucking pretty red eyes?"

"Shut up!" Ayame growled at him, "You don't know anything!"

Hidan scoffed, "I know more then you realise. Just 'cause I'm not a fucking smartass like you doesn't mean I'm completely stupid. I also _know_ that you bloody Uchiha are far too reliant on that kekkei genkei of yours. Have you even fucking considered the fact that you might not even _get_ your Sharingan?"

Absolute horror crossed Ayame's face as that thought. The fact that she might _never_ get the Sharingan had never crossed her mind before and it terrified her.

"No, that can't be." She whispered.

He rolled his eyes, "Is the Uchiha Clan practicing incest now?" he asked, "because that's the only fucking way to guarantee you will get your Sharingan."

"That's just gross." Akira muttered.

"Of course it fucking is." Hidan muttered, "so, Princess, I suggest you start thinking about what the fuck you're going to do instead."

Silence fell over the group of teenagers as the words sunk in.

"What _am_ I going to do?" Ayame asked quietly.

He shrugged, "Fucked if I know. Figure it out for yourself."

"Can you show me how to catch kunai?" Hiroshi's voice was quiet but everyone heard it.

Hidan gave a snort, "No. But I'll throw shit at you till you figure it out."

"Is that how you learned?" Daiki asked cheekily.

"More or less. How about I give you a fucking lesson now?" Hidan replied throwing one of his small rocks at him.

"Ow." Daiki said as the rock hit him in the shoulder, but it didn't stop there. More rocks started to pelt him, "Where the hell are you getting those from?" he asked as he started to try and dodge and deflect them.

"That's not what you should be wondering." Hidan said taking great glee in pelting the Uzumaki twin with the rocks.

"Ow. Crap. Stop it." Daiki tried to hide behind his brother, but that didn't work. So Daiki took off across the training field with Hidan close behind still throwing stones.

"I ain't stopping till you catch one!" Hidan yelled after Daiki as he chased him around the field.

"Just catch one!" Akira yelled after his brother, "You can do it!"

As Akira and Kimi yelled encouragement at Daiki, Ayame made a small smile. Shina put her hand on her friends shoulder.

"You will be alright." Shina said.

"But I'm an Uchiha if I don't get my Sharingan, then what do I have?" Ayame asked.

"Well, you have good enough chakra control to be a medic-nin like me."

"Erg, no. Some of the stuff you do is just plain gross."

Shina thought for a moment, "There is one other thing that precise chakra control is good for."

Ayame looked at Shina expectantly. A sly smile spread over Shina's face as her nimble mind started to throw out possibilities.

"Genjutsu." She said. Ayame looked uncertain so Shina explained further, "Imagine it. The Sharingan is often used to employ powerful genjutsu, so what if you trained yourself as a genjutsu expert that is able to break free from the Sharingan?"

Ayames eyes widened as she allowed the possibility to sink in. Shina grinned and allowed her to think about it as she joined the others in cheering on Daiki.


	7. Chapter 7

Next chapter!

RisingNight- Your review made me laugh out loud, I'm sure my Aunt was wondering what was up with me. Although having Orochimaru around won't work for this storyline, it could make a good possible sequel… who knows.

Enjoy.

Chapter Seven

So at Hidan's hands they began their unofficial extra training. Any time that any of them had available outside of their missions, normal training sessions and family obligations they would spend at the training field with Hidan.

True to his word Hidan got his hands on some wooden training kunai and one week later was throwing them at Hiroshi whom was attempting to catch them.

"Come on dipshit, I know you're faster than this." Hidan said from the lounging position against a tree as he threw another wooden kunai at the Hyuuga's head. Hidan had to snicker as Hiroshi missed and the projectile nailed him right in the centre of his forehead, in the same spot that every other kunai had hit.

Hiroshi screwed up his face and grabbed his abused forehead, almost close to just letting loose and swearing like Hidan. He even already had the impressive vocabulary thanks to the immortal nin. But he didn't, instead he kept his Hyuuga composure and just hissed a bit in pain as he rubbed at what was most definitely becoming a big bruise. He would have to get Shina to fix it before he went home.

"Can you aim somewhere else?" He asked Hidan.

"Nope." Hidan hurled another kunai at him.

Hiroshi wasn't expecting that one so his reaction was instinctive. His hand snapped up and slapped the kunai away. He just looked at his hand is surprise.

"There we go now." Hidan grinned, "Think quick." He tossed the next one.

Hiroshi missed this one and was nailed again.

"Ffffffff…." Hiroshi hissed out hopping around a few steps with his hands clapped over his forehead, it was the same spot every damn time!

Hidan just grinned, "Do you want to stop?"

Hiroshi stopped moving and lowered his hands. He turned to face Hidan, his whole body calm and a flash of steely determination in his eyes.

"No."

One of Hidan's eyebrows twitched up slightly, intrigued. This boy would grow up to be a very formidable opponent one day, Hidan could glimpse a little of what Hiroshi could become just in that stance alone. Heh, time for some real fun. Hiroshi gathered all the wooden kunai scattered around him and dumped them on Hidan's lap before walking back over to his spot. Hidan picked one up and aimed.

**0o0o0o0**

It took another week of practice before Hiroshi caught his first kunai. He was so ecstatic he actually danced around a little. But his celebrating was cut short when he was forced to repeat his action as Hidan said that first time was a fluke. By the end of the day he was catching the wooden kunai's four out of five times and immensely proud of himself.

But Hiroshi wasn't the only one to have improved his skills. Ayame had started to dive more deeply into learning genjutsu, making sure to learn the advantages and disadvantages so that she could tailor her other skills to cover for the weaknesses of the illusion techniques. It made for extra work for herself but she didn't care as she was bound and determined to become stronger than any other Uchiha so that even if she didn't develop her Sharingan then she could still make her clan proud.

Kimi and Gin spent endless hours just sparring in hand to hand combat with Hidan. The only reason he gave was that if they were going to be first in a fray then they needed more strength and stamina to make sure they could last through any fight they got into. So she would fight him right to the verge of collapse. Over the past two weeks she had found that both Gin and herself were lasting just a little bit longer each time. That wasn't the only thing she had learned. Without realising it she had started to also learn to fight smart, actually taking a moment to consider the best kinds of attacks to use and learning to conserve her energy where she could.

Akira and Daiki also had started with hand to hand sparring with Hidan but they had learned very quickly to do it separately as the one time they tried to gang up on him Hidan had trussed them both up and left them hanging from a tree in the Academy with cloth gags and a sign proclaiming them as punching bags. The boys had been very dismayed to find that the Academy teachers had taken their sweet ass time getting them free allowing the young students at the school to give them both a good pounding. No one questioned how or why the Uzumaki twins had ended up in that situation as a lot of people felt that it was appropriate payback for all the pranks they had pulled. Next time they saw Hidan he informed them with a smirk that next time they ganged up on him then they better make damn fucking sure they put him down and out otherwise they would find themselves as a training dummies again.

Shina was the one that had the least amount of extra training with Hidan as most of her spare time was taken up with her medic-nin learning, especially with Kyoko now putting her onto learning about basic poisons and there antidotes. What she _did_ do was a lot of extra talking with him as she would study in her lab where he was now basically living.

All six of them improved their overall hiding skills simply by necessity as Hidan took great pleasure in using the wooden kunai to flush them out of their hiding spots any time they tried to take a moment to catch their breath in sparring sessions. Whilst the wooden kunai didn't kill, they still hurt like hell.

The day after Hiroshi managed to catch a kunai mid-air all six of them had one of those days where they were all free at the same time so they could all train together.

Hidan appeared from his hiding spot and grabbed Hiroshi's head. Hiroshi scowled at him but Hidan just ignored him as he used a non-permanent pen to make an X on his forehead.

"What are you doing?" Hiroshi asked.

"I don't feel like throwing shit at you today. Princess had terrible fucking aim so she can do it." Hidan said dumping the pouch full of wooden kunai in Ayame's hands.

"Hey, my aim is perfect! You were just throwing me off that day." Ayame said with her own scowl at Hidan.

"Prove it then." Hidan said pointing to Hiroshi, "Hit the X."

Hiroshi got a distinct nervous feeling as Ayame turned to him with a peculiar gleam in her eyes. She pulled a kunai out and threw straight for his head. With an 'epp' he quickly ducked allowing the kunai to sail over his head.

"Stay still." Ayame growled at him throwing another one.

Hiroshi caught this one which seemed to infuriate Ayame a bit so she kept throwing them. Hiroshi caught a few and managed to duck the rest. Once she ran out Ayame gathered up the wooden kunai, effectively re-arming herself, forcing Hiroshi to flee as she started to pelt him with the kunai again.

Shina just gave a long suffering sigh as Hiroshi got the bright idea to throw the kunai that he caught back at Ayame. This just led to all-out war between them. The twins started to cheer on their respective team mates and Kimi just flopped to the grass with Gin to laugh at them.

Shina looked up at Hidan with a faint look of annoyance.

He noticed her look and gave a half-shrug, "What?" he asked.

"You're just a warmonger aren't you?" Shina said to him.

"You know too many big fucking words for someone your age."

"A toddler knows more big words when compared to you." Shina muttered.

It took a few moments for the comment to sink in fully with Hidan, "Hey!" he exclaimed angrily but Shina was far out of his immediate reach by then shooting him a cheeky grin. He just scowled at her.

The whole group was then forced to scatter as Ayame and Hiroshi's battle turned into a free for all as Hiroshi threw one of the wooden kunai at Hidan in a fit of pique for getting him into this mess. Hidan just casually caught the projectile and tossed it at Shina.

It just all went downhill from there.

**0o0o0o0**

After a couple of hours they were all exhausted, with the exception of Hidan of course, and ready to go home. Ayame had managed to succeed in hitting the 'X' much to Hiroshi's displeasure. He was sorely sick of getting hit in the head. But all the kids were peppered with red welt marks where they had all been struck by the wooden kunai. They all left for their respective houses for lunch promising to meet up afterwards to just hang out.

Hidan made his stealthy way back to the lab for an afternoon nap. He had just settled when the door opened and Shina walked in carrying a sandwich that she was currently munching on. She went over to the bench where all her books were spread out and started to read.

"Geez, don't you ever just relax?" Hidan muttered at her.

Shina finished chewing the last bite of her lunch before answering, "This is relaxing for me." She turned a page.

"No I'm talking about relaxing where you just do absolutely fucking _nothing._"

Shina paused in her reading and turned on her stool to face him.

"Sometimes." She admitted, "but not often and not for very long. I get restless too easily." She suddenly reached into her pocket, "I almost forgot. I found this for you."

She slid off the stool and walked over to him holding out her hand palm down, obscuring what the object actually was. Hidan gave her a slightly confused look as he held out his own hand. Shina let the object drop and Hidan looked at it, his eyes widening in surprise.

"I don't agree with your religion, I think it is just a terrible cult. But I _do_ think that everyone is entitled to their own choices."

Resting in his palm was his lost Jashin pendent. It was dull, partially rusted and the rosary string had long since rotted away. Shina went back to her books leaving Hidan to stare at the pendent lost in his own thoughts.

She would've had to have gone back to his burial site and dug through the dirt to find this. Why on earth would she do that for him? He hadn't been particularly nice or anything, and just because he hadn't killed them yet was no guarantee that he wouldn't take a crack at it in the future. He held up the pendent in front of his face studying it.

"Why would you find this for me?" He asked.

Shina shrugged, still looking down at her books, "The records indicated that your religion was very important to you. I can't allow you to practice the more grisly aspects of it, but I could restore back to you the symbol of it. I know it's not much, but it was the best I could do as a thank you."

Hidan looked over at her back, "Thank you for what?"

"Saving us." Shina closed her book and slid off the stool again, "You didn't have to but you did anyway."

Hidan let his eyes lock back on the pendant as he made an indistinguishable sound that was half grunt. Shina just gave a small smile and walked out of the lab to go meet up with her friends. The door closed and Hidan let the pendant rest on his chest as he tucked his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. He found himself somewhat appalled at himself for the realisation that he hadn't thought about his religion at all in the past couple of weeks. Shina was right, his religion was extremely important to him so why had that changed? _When_ had that changed? He rubbed at his forehead with a frown; he didn't really want to think about that now as all it would lead to was a headache. So tucking the pendant away he shifted to a more comfortable position and fell into a light doze.

**0o0o0o0**

The rest of the young teenagers' punishment soon passed quickly and they were free to leave the village again. This left them with less time to train with Hidan as their respective teachers started taking on missions outside the village again. Hidan ended up spending most of his spare time in the lab as his chakra masking skills were good enough for sneaking out to the training grounds and back but not good enough for a sustained period of time in a village _full_ of highly trained and well rested ninja, which meant no walks around the village.

With the extra time Hidan soon ran out of ways to keep himself amused. So one day he started to nose around all the medical text books that Shina kept in the lab. Most of them were boring and dry, full of technical terminology that he didn't understand half of. But one slim volume soon turned up something interesting. It was some sort of basic poisons diagnosis book or something. It described in grisly detail, complete with full colour photographs to match, what most of the basic poisons could do to a person if left untreated. Hidan was halfway through it when the door to the lab closed audibly, making him quickly drop the book back on the bench like he had been burned. He spun around to find Shina looking at him with amusement shining in her green eyes.

"What'cha reading?" She asked in a sickly sweet tone and sporting a smug grin as she walked over to where he was still seated on the stool.

Oh great, he thought, she saw him reading the book. And now she was going to tease the fuck out of him for it.

"Nothing." He muttered.

Shina just smiled smugly at him and looked at the bench. She reached over and picked up the book that he had, moments earlier, been reading with fascination. She gave a snort.

"Figures." She said dropping the book back on the bench.

"What the fuck's that supposed to mean?" he asked indignantly.

Shina just grinned at him, "That you found the one book here with the most pictures in it." She said, "Should I go to the library and find you some kiddies books?"

Hidan gave a growl and took a swipe at her which she managed to nimbly duck under giggling like mad. She took a few steps back so that she was out of swiping range.

"Seriously though, I can go to the library and find you some books to read. Just let me know what kinds you want."

Hidan gave her a strange look, "You don't have to bother with that, I'm not really the reading type. I was just filling some time."

Shina just gave a shrug, "If you change your mind…" she said quietly.

Hidan gave a grunt and got off the stool, "What are you doing here anyway? Thought you were on a mission."

"Eh, it was super simple. We managed to finish earlier than expected so we were able to come home earlier."

A loud banging knock was the only warning they got before the lab door flew open and the twins rushed in.

"Shina, there you are. I think we have a serious problem." Daiki said.

Shina gave a questioning look, "What?"

"Uncle Matsu has been following us." Akira said.

"Are you sure?" She asked with a frown.

"Yes," Daiki replied, "I noticed him following me when you guys were out on your mission. I think he suspects something about Hidan."

"That sounds bad." Hidan muttered walking over to his bed and settling down on it.

"It won't be you specifically." Shina said, thinking, "I think he just suspects something in general. He has probably been following you two for weeks now, how come you only just noticed him now?"

"Er, I think it's the special training that we've been doing. Having to know where Hidan is at all times has made me more aware of when people are watching me." Daiki said ruefully.

Shina rubbed at her forehead, "We're going to have to find out if he is just following _you _two or if he is trying to follow all of us."

"How are we supposed to do that?" Akira asked sceptically.

"We follow him?" Shina said with a shrug.

"He's a jounin," Akira said, "No matter how good we are he is going to notice us right away."

"Uh, why don't you just let him keep fucking following you?" Hidan piped up.

The trio turned to him.

"What good will that do?" Shina asked.

Hidan shrugged, "You can have some fun. Lead him on a fucking merry chase. Go places that kids like you have no fucking business going." He grinned, "He can't bust you on shit without letting on that he is tracking you."

The twins faces lit up, "You are a genius!" Akira exclaimed.

"Meh, it's just what I used to do for shits and giggles with pursuers before ambushing and killing them." Hidan replied.

"Ok, could've done without that last comment." Shina said with exasperation.

"We need to tell the others." Daiki said, "But we also need to find a way to discourage him from this new little stalking habit he has acquired."

Akira smirked, "I'm sure we can think of a few ideas, dear brother."

Daiki smirked back at his twin, "Of course we can."

In that moment both Hidan and Shina were glad that they weren't the targets of the twin nefarious plots at that time.

It took the trio half an hour to make their plan of attack. Being as it was in the pranking territory the twins took point with the ideas. Once they figured out what they were going to do they rushed out to tell to others and to implement their ideas.

**0o0o0o0**

Matsu watched from a rooftop as the three teenagers ran out of the Nara house and down the street. After letting them pull ahead a bit he silently took off after them.

He was now starting to get really suspicious. He had been listening to their Jounin teachers and they had both commented on the marked rapid improvement in the skills of their teams. Under normal circumstances something like that wouldn't be suspicious, but he couldn't quite shake the feeling that it was all connected to the stranger that had helped them a couple of months ago. And if that was the case, why would they hide him and why would he be sporting the restriction seals on his body?

He stopped and hid as the trio reached their destination of the Hyuuga compound. The twins waited on the other side of the street as Shina went in the gates and flagged down the first person she saw. He could only assume she was looking for her team mate Hiroshi, which was confirmed when the Hyuuga she asked made hand motions for Shina to stay where she was and walked off to find the young boy. Hiroshi appeared at the gate not long after and Shina cupped her hands over his ear whispering something.

Matsu pulled a face, he would dearly like to know what she was telling him but he couldn't risk getting closer and exposing himself. He watched the Hiroshi carefully as a small smile spread over his face and Shina pulled away with a grin of her own. Now what could they be planning? Hiroshi nodded and walked over to the twins with Shina. The group then all took off again. Matsu followed and watched as they found Kimi and Gin in the marketplace and Ayame in the library. There was a repeat of what happened with Hiroshi with the two girls. Once Ayame joined them the group then took off for the Hokage tower. Matsu was forced to fall behind a little bit more so he could continue avoiding detection.

What happened next put Matsu in one of the most difficult positions he had ever been in. When they reached the tower the group split in two, Shina and Ayame going inside and the other four going up the outside to the top. Once on top Kimi and Gin stood guard on top as the three boys crept stealthily down the wall to the Hokage's office windows. Matsu was forced to affect a casual pose as Hiroshi activated his Byakugan to see if the office was empty. From his angle Matsu could already see that the Hokage wasn't there and once Hiroshi gave the all clear the three boys then snuck in.

One of the twins quickly pulled out a storage scroll as Hiroshi kept watch over the office door with his Byakugan. A few hand seals and what popped out almost made Matsu loose his composure as he was overcome with a desire to kick the twins behinds for even _daring_ to do something like this. Kurama, on the other hand, just laughed his ass off inside his head.

"_Oh, these boys are just priceless!" _Kurama said from inside his skull.

"Shut up." Matsu mumbled, somewhat horrified at what his nephews were doing. And the fact that they had roped their friends into helping them as well. He allowed himself a facepalm as the boys finished setting up the object and quickly vacated the office to meet up with Kimi and Gin on the roof. Gin disappeared into the building as the giggling teens all disappeared to find what he could only assume was a prime viewing spot with which to watch the Hokages reaction. Moments later Shina, Ayame and Gin all exited the building and disappeared to go join the rest of the group.

Matsu momentarily wavered, should he quickly duck into the office and remove the offending object? But that would tip off the teens. The alternative was to just leave it there and let the Hokage find it.

However the decision was taken out of his hands when he saw the office door open.


	8. Chapter 8

Next chapter! Oh these kids are terrible.

Enjoy ^.^

Chapter Eight

Hisoka, the current Hokage of Konaha opened his office door, not particularly looking forward to the work he had to get done this afternoon. Walking in he closed the door behind him and took two steps towards his desk when he suddenly froze. With a tight lipped expression and an eyebrow twitch he glared at the… the _thing_ arranged in his chair.

It was a blow up sex doll. Decked out in black silky lingerie and limbs posed with ninja wire.

He was going to kill those Uzumaki twins.

Across the street, the group of teenagers were in physical pain with the effort of not laughing out loud. They watched the Hokage as a stony expression crossed his face and he walked over to the chair in which the doll was strapped. Pulling out two kunai he used them to manoeuvre the chair away from the desk with an expression of distaste, depositing the chair over by a wall he calmly walked over to his office door and opened it. The teenagers could only assume that he called for one of his assistants before he walked back over to his desk and proceeded to do his work standing up.

Safe in his hidden spot Matsu just buried his face in his hands. Where in the hell did those twins even manage to _find_ these things. Kurama just chuckled.

"_Wasn't me."_ The fox said.

Matsu just glowered at nothing and swung his eyes back over to the office in time to see the priceless expression of shock on the ninja that had appeared in the Hokages office in response to summons. Hisoka pointed to the chair and then pointed at the door. With a look of trepidation and caution the ninja approached the chair and carefully grasped the back before wheeling it carefully out. His trepidation was understandable, there was always the possibility that the twins had booby trapped the whole thing. Suddenly Matsu spotted Ayame leaving her hiding spot and appear at the door to the tower with a sly grin and quickly walk in. Oh no, she wasn't, was she?

That was it; the fox vessel was done for the day. He pushed off and headed for the nearest bar. He was in sore need of a stiff drink.

"He's gone." Hiroshi said quietly to his friends.

"I'd love to see the expression on that assistants face as he tries to explain the doll to Ayame." Daiki commented

Another round of smothered giggles ran through the group.

"I have to go; mum's expecting me at home." Kimi said waving her hand a little as she tried to calm her laughter, "I'll see you guys later."

With that her and Gin took off. Just after she left Ayame appeared at the door, being pushed out by a _very_ red faced assistant. Ayame affected a look of innocent confusion right up until the door closed, that was when the devious smug smile spread over her face and she made her way back to her friends. The remainder of the group all looked at her with questioning looks.

"Idiot tried to tell me it was a specialised type of training dummy." She said to them as she flopped down.

More snorts of laughter were heard from the teens.

"You should…" Akira gave a gasp of laughter, "You should ask your Uncle later why the doll was tied to his chair. Make sure you do it in front of others."

Ayame's eyes widened with glee, "Oh yes that's brilliant! He's bringing his family over for dinner tonight, I could do it then."

They all collapsed to the roof with laughter at the thought of their serious and stoic Hokage trying to explain _that_ away in front of his family. Hiroshi managed to get himself under control first.

"I've got training with my Mother. So I'll see you guys later." He stood up.

"See ya later." Shina waved at him still giggling like mad.

The others all chorused goodbyes to him as he also left.

"I'm going back to Lab, I've got studying to do." Shina said once she could talk properly.

"Yeah, I should get back to the library." Ayame added.

"We're gonna come with you Shina." Akira said, "We gotta tell Hidan about this."

Shina just gave a nod of assent and the group split up.

The twins had a riotous time telling the story to Hidan whom laughed so hard he almost fell off his bed. The group also found out the next day from Ayame that her Uncle Hisoka had almost choked on his food when she asked him about the doll, and she had even managed to make her father, oldest brother and two older male cousins choke on their dinners as well when she had expanded upon the question asking if she could get 'pretty lacy clothes' like the dummy had one day. She had spotted one of her cousins the next day and took note of the fact that his face went beet red and quickly swerved away from her and disappeared. Ayame ended up getting days of endless amusement from the whole situation.

**0o0o0o0**

For weeks afterward anytime any of them realised that Matsu followed them they each took a mental note of when, how long and how far he kept away from them. They quickly found that he spent the most amount of time following the twins and Kimi, followed by Ayame then Shina and finally Hiroshi. Knowing this Shina and Hiroshi started to spend as much time with the others as they could spare, particularly if they were going to train with Hidan. They found that this kept Matsu at a distance that enabled them to lose him when needed. They also found one of the best ways to lose him was to pull an outrageous prank on the same level as what they did to the Hokage. He usually disappeared very quickly.

It took Matsu almost two weeks before he realised what they were doing and he mentally cursed himself for being played. After taking a moment to think he came to a realisation. Rather than confront him about the shadowing activities the group had instead taken pains to avoid and lose him. And if they were doing that then they were definitely hiding something.

It was time to change his tact.

So now, he didn't bother to hide his presence anymore. And with that restriction gone he could start following them more closely. Already after just a few days he could see them getting bothered by it. As he perched on a rooftop watching Shina move through the marketplace he grinned. Eventually one of them would crack and slip up and when they did, he would get his answers.

Shina gave a frown as she felt eyes bore into her back. She knew Matsu was watching her and it annoyed her to no end. They all knew that when Matsu stopped hiding himself from them that he had figured out their tactic. And ever since he had started sticking closer they had stopped training with Hidan. She couldn't afford to be found out now as she had just been told that she would be starting new training with Kyoko in a few days that would allow her to examine someone's chakra system using her own chakra. This was what she had been waiting months for and she refused to have this opportunity compromised in anyway. She sighed, what was she going to do now?

Shina stopped as an idea struck her. It was time to stop beating around the bush and lay down battle lines. She may not be a genius strategist like her father and sister, but she _did_ know something about battling. With an abrupt turn she quickly jumped up to the rooftops and found an out of way spot. She crossed her arms and turned to Matsu, beckoning him over. With a look of amusement he casually strolled over to her with his hands in his pockets. He looked down at Shina with blue eyes tinged with purple, an indicator that Kurama was sharing the forefront with Matsu.

"What do you want?" Shina asked.

Matsu raised a gold eyebrow, "Your hiding something. I suspect it has something to do with the stranger that helped you that day. I want to know who he is and why you feel you have to hide him." He replied.

There was silence for a few moments.

"The only thing I am hiding is sensitive research that I am doing." Shina replied.

"Hn, you certainly have a way with words young lady. Whilst I do believe you I also know that there is more to it than that." Matsu tilted his head slightly as he studied her body language, "I have concerns that your _research_ may be a threat."

A small smile crept over Shina's face, "But you have no evidence. If you did, you would've gone to the Hokage already."

"_Clever girl."_ Kurama rumbled in his mind.

"That's true." Matsu replied to Shina, "But my instincts have never steered me wrong in the past especially when it concerns my family and village."

Shina's green eyes flashed darkly as a sullen look came over her face, "I wouldn't _ever_ do anything to hurt my family, friends or the village." She almost growled out, "And until I'm good and ready to show you, you won't find a single damn thing!" With that she spun and ran off back towards her house.

Needless to say Matsu was a little taken aback at her reaction. He had honestly expected her to become guilt ridden and crack a little, giving him something to leverage at. Her anger surprised him.

"_You know if you payed more attention to what Akira says about her, then you wouldn't be this surprised."_ Kurama scolded him.

"I do listen." Matsu said defensively, "She is a sweet girl that cares deeply for the village. She is showing remarkable aptitude for medical ninjutsu and has a very keen mind."

"_How about you go read some mission reports done by her Jounin teacher." _Kurama suggested before sinking away in his mind.

With a slight frown Matsu went and did exactly that.

An hour and a pile of reports later Matsu saw what Kurama was talking about. It was best highlighted in one report done only about a month ago when her team had done a simple low ranked escort mission. A small group of bandits had tried to rob them thinking that they would be an easy target because they were travelling with children. They were quickly proven wrong when they had their asses handed to them by the said children and their teacher. The Jounin had described his genin's fighting skills with a brief comment for each one regarding how they had done.

For Hiroshi, "Well executed, his skills improve daily."

For Akira, "Pleased to find he is developing a style independent from his brother."

And lastly for Shina, "Highly adaptive, I was not aware that medical ninjutsu could be used in that manner."

Matsu didn't need know what was unwritten to know what the teacher was thinking. He rubbed at his head before delving into his own mind to talk to Kurama.

The fox looked at him with an appraising look. Matsu opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to form his question but not sure how to frame it. Kurama, however, knew what he was trying to articulate.

"Stop accusing her of being a criminal, even indirectly. She's a smart girl and is keenly aware of her own mind and the depths of ruthlessness she is capable of. It angers her when others point it out, especially the implication that she would ever betray Konoha. I don't why, but it seems to be a bit of a sore point for her. Her reaction to your comment was a little more extreme because she was already annoyed at you. But don't worry too much about it; she unconsciously uses her team mates to ground herself."

"How come I've never noticed it before?"

Kurama gave a snort, his breath ruffling Matsu's hair, "Shina hides it well. She has too, especially with a sharp minded family like she has."

"Oh." Matsu didn't like feeling like an idiot, "Wait, how did you spot it?"

Kurama puffed his chest out affecting an air of superiority and general know it all, "I am _far_ older and wiser then you. Of course I could see it."

Matsu just levelled a look at the fox that clearly said that he didn't believe him. Kurama gave a huff and put his chin in his hand.

"Oh, fine." He grumbled with an eye roll, "I've already read those mission reports, that's how I found out. I also read the reports handed in by the kids themselves." He gave a wistful sigh, "You know I liked it better when you were a little snot nosed kid that was in awe of my power and mysticism."

Matsu gave a grin, "Oh, I'm still in awe of your power. I'm just not susceptible to your bullshit anymore." He rubbed his forehead, "Can you take over? I need some time to think."

"Sure."

Kurama opened his eyes and tided up the reports, placing them all back where they belonged before walking out of the building. Matsu had forgotten to have lunch and he planned to remedy that.

**0o0o0o0**

Shina was grumbling under her breath as she stormed into the lab. Hidan raised his eyebrow as he watched her stalk over to her desk and wretched open a book she had recently acquired.

"Your sister again?" He asked.

"No." Shina grumbled, "Matsu. I just had a talk with him." She slammed her book shut, too irritated to read and decided to have a rant instead.

"Seriously, does he think I'm stupid!" She spun around to face Hidan, "If I thought that what I was doing with you was a threat in any way to the people around me, I would do something about it. Gah!" She kicked at the bench only to give a hiss as pain shot through her foot.

"Well _that_ was smart." Hidan commented with a grin.

"Shut up." Shina grumbled as she rubbed her sore foot.

Silence fell over the pair as Hidan look at her like he was trying to figure something out.

"Just out of curiosity, what the fuck did you plan on doing with me once you had finished your research?" Hidan finally asked.

Shina rested her abused foot on the stool and rested her chin on her knee.

"Honestly, back then, I was going to turn you over to the Hokage. Now…. I don't know." She mumbled the last part, "You said you didn't have anywhere else to go and I now feel kinda responsible for you, having dug you up and all."

Hidan scowled lightly but didn't say anything. Shina turned around and opened her book back up and started to read.

Hidan continued to frown lightly as he took a moment to think. What _was_ he going to do? He had never given much thought to his future before, he didn't really need to. But now, he was forced to consider what he was going to do in the future. He sure as shit couldn't live out in Shina's lab forever. He leaned back to rest his back against the wall and rubbed at his eyes. He wished that he could just go back to a simpler time when the only thing that mattered was finding the next person to sacrifice. But that wasn't the case anymore, Jashin forbid he actually _liked_ these kids and for reasons unknown to him he didn't want to disappoint them.

Hidan didn't like feeling like this, it was confusing and conflicting and made his life infinitely more complex than he preferred. And now he was having concerns about how _his_ presence was affecting the teens. He knew that the longer they hid him from their superiors the more trouble they would be in when they were later found out, and they would be found out. Someone would slip up and the secret would be out.

So the question remained.

What was he going to do?

**0o0o0o0**

For the next three weeks Matsu continued to closely follow the teens when they were in the village. Shina finally learned the technique she needed to scan chakra and she immediately used it on Hidan, pleased that she could finally advance her research some more.

"Shiiina this table is fucking cold and uncomfortable." Hidan whined, "Aren't you done yet?"

"Just wait a moment." Shina grumbled back at him. "I'm almost done."

Shina had taken the day to carefully scan Hidan's chakra system head to toes. After an hour of scanning she was almost done. Her hands were held on either side of his head and glowed softly with green chakra. Her eyes were closed to facilitate her concentration as she finished up her scanning. Hidan grinned then started to pull faces at her, watching a frown slowly creep across her face as she could sense his movements through his chakra. Finally her eyes snapped and glared at him.

"We're done." She said with a tone of annoyance, stepping back.

"Thank fuck!" Hidan jumped off the bench and stretched out his back, feeling all his vertebra pop in a satisfying way.

Shina moved over to her journal and started to write. Hidan loomed over her and looked down at her writing.

"Your handwriting looks like chicken scratch." He commented.

"It's in code." Shina said absently as she continued to write.

"I know. It still looks like fucking chicken scratch though."

Shina sighed, "What do you want Hidan?"

"I'm bored."

Shina put her pencil down and turned to face Hidan, "Would you like me to go and get you some books."

"No."

"Then what do want to do?" She asked patiently.

"I dunno." He shrugged.

Shina planted her face in her hand, "And _I'm_ the one that's supposed to be the child." She muttered.

"Let's go for a walk." He said suddenly.

"No." Shina said firmly, "Absolutely not. Matsu is still following us. And I know for a fact that he is currently camped outside the front of my house."

"Why are you so fucking worried about keeping me secret anyway?" Hidan said flopping down on his bed.

"Because I'm still conducting research on you, I can't lose you." Shina said turning back to her journal.

Hidan levelled a stare at the Nara girls back. He knew that she could feel his eyes boring into her back and he knew that she would crack. The silence, broken only by the scratching of a pencil, managed to last just over half a minute before Shina paused in her writing, her shoulders now at the same level as her ears. She gave a gusty sigh.

"As stupid as this sounds, we like you." She said quietly resting her forehead in the heel of her palms, "Ayame, Akira, Daiki, Hiroshi and myself are under pressure to be what our families want us to be and Kimi is the middle child out of five."

"How the fuck do I affect that?" Hidan asked with a curious frown.

Shina's lips quirked in a half smile, "As a middle kid, Kimi is often overlooked. Ayame , the twins and I have a prestigious ancestors to live up to. Hiroshi is Hyuuga, they expect perfection from all the clan. With you none of those things matter, or even really exist. You look at us all and tell us exactly who we are as individuals."

"Oh." There was really nothing else Hidan could think to say to that.

However, he did now know what his future path was going to be.


	9. Chapter 9

Shit sorta hits the fan in this chapter…. Enjoy!

Chapter Nine

Another two weeks passed and the group of teens all had a day off so they gathered at their training field. This time Ayame had bought a picnic lunch, using the twins as pack mules of course, so that they could have lunch out there. They all decided against training today, instead opting to just relax and chat. Kimi was sprawled on the grass whilst Gin chased the ball that Daiki threw for her. Ayame was spreading out the food for them as Hiroshi and Akira watched and Shina was throwing senbon at the nearest tree. They were all chatting about little inconsequential things.

Safe in his hiding spot Hidan watched them. Although his hiding skills could be better he wasn't S-Class for nothing. The teens had no idea that he was nearby and watching. He grinned as Akira reached forward to snag some food only to have Ayame slapped his hand away with a frown and blistering retort.

Heh, he was going to miss them. They were enormously entertaining and he had had fun. But now it was time for him to leave. So, with all the stealth and silence of a ninja of his calibre he slipped away into the trees.

Racing through the forest Hidan was suddenly forced to twist and catch the kunai that had been aimed for his back. He landed on a branch and faced the person that had thrown the projectile, casually twirling the kunai around his finger. He gave his attacker a wide grin.

"So, I'm gonna guess that you are Matsu." Hidan said.

Matsu frowned as he pulled out another kunai.

"Yes. How do you know my name?"

Hidan gave a chuckle and folded his arms to casually lean sideways against the trunk, "Not important. Why did you just try to fucking skewer me?"

Matsu narrowed his eyes; he was having a hard time making out the strangers features because he was wearing a hooded cloak.

"You weren't in danger of being skewered. I needed your attention." Matsu answered carefully, "You were the one that saved the kids that day."

Hidan shrugged, "Yeah, so?"

"Why did you leave? We had questions and we wanted to thank you."

Hidan burst out laughing, "Fuck me! That is just hilarious." He reached up and yanked his hood off, finally giving Matsu a good look at him.

There was something about his face, something that niggled at the back of his mind. But Matsu couldn't put his finger on it.

Kurama figured it out first.

"_AKATSUKI!"_ the fox hissed out surging to the forefront and taking over control of the body.

"_What?"_ Matsu asked.

Kurama ignored his host, "You're supposed to be buried!" He hissed at Hidan.

Hidan was surprised to see Matsu's whole demeanour change. It was when he saw the red chakra leak out that he finally twigged.

"Sweet fuck, you're a jinchuriki!" Hidan said surprised, "They never told me that."

Kurama gave a wide grin, "That's because I'm no longer just the monster fox. I am Kurama, a member of the Uzumaki clan. And now I'm going to make sure that you die for good!"

"Wait! _You're_ fucking Kurama!" Hidan pointed at him, "So it's your fucking fault that the twin brats got that fucking ball gag!"

Sheer surprise at the abrupt subject change stalled Kurama from attacking Hidan.

"What?"

"You fucker! I spent weeks with that fucking thing shoved in my mouth thanks to you."

Kurama gave a short snicker, "You're why they wanted the gag? I'm doubly glad I gave it to them now."

Hidan growled at him and he just growled back.

"_Kurama, is this Hidan, the immortal Akatsuki member?"_ Matsu finally managed to get the fox's' attention.

"_Yes. He's supposed to be buried somewhere in the Nara forest."_ Kurama grumbled back.

Matsu face palmed, _"Shina."_ He sighed, _"We can't destroy him yet, we need to catch him and get him to the Hokage."_

"_Fine"_

"You're coming with us." Kurama growled at Hidan and shot a chakra hand towards Hidan. Hidan jumped off the branch as it splintered beneath him and landed on the ground.

Hidan gave a snort and flipped his middle finger at them, "Yeah right. I'm fuckin' outta here." With that he turned and took off as fast as he could.

Hidan knew that he didn't actually stand a chance against the Kyuubi. But that didn't mean he was just gonna roll over and take it either. If they wanted to catch him so bad then they would have to bloody work for it.

He took a sharp left, letting another chakra hand shoot past and put a hole in a tree trunk. However he couldn't dodge the other chakra hand that had shot in from his right and slammed into his ribs, knocking him into a tree.

Hidan hissed in pain as he felt at least two ribs break. Shit, he had been trying to avoid injury so that Shina wouldn't know. Too late now.

A large chakra hand wrapped around his body and hoisted him up. He suppressed a grimace as he felt his ribs grind together in the tight grip. Damn he was sorely out of practice. Hidan was bought face to face with Matsu. And it _was_ Matsu now in control as his eyes were back to being bright blue, however Kurama still was close to the surface because his chakra still cloaked him and also held Hidan.

"We're going to go see the Hokage." He said simply before turning around and heading back to the village.

**0o0o0o0**

Sharp pain shot through Shina's ribs making her gasp and hunch over slightly.

"Shina, you alright?" Ayame asked.

But Shina ignored her as she used her chakra to search around her ribs, a sinking feeling forming in her gut as she found nothing physically wrong with herself.

That's when they all sensed the powerful chakra signature of Kurama moving fast towards the village.

"Hidan!" Shina said shooting to her feet and taking off after Matsu.

Without hesitation the rest of the group followed, leaving the remains of their picnic behind.

It ended up being a mad dash through the trees before hitting the village. The rest of the group managed to catch up with Shina when she paused at the entrance to the Hokage tower.

"Matsu took him to the Hokage's office." Shina said.

Ayame raised her chin, "Then let's go." She grabbed Shina's hand and led her inside. The others followed silently.

They all ran up the stairs and burst open the office door. In the middle of the office was Hidan securely restrained and surround by half a dozen ANBU. Standing next to Hidan was Matsu, still covered in Kurama's chakra cloak just in case Hidan tried to make a run for it. As the office door burst open everyone looked over at the teens in surprise.

Hisoka then frowned, "You kids need to leave right now. I will deal with you all later."

"No." Shina said defiantly moving forward. But she was restrained by one of the ANBU from going any further.

The Hokage slammed his hands on the desk and his eyes flashed red, "You will do as you are told!" he said angrily, "From what I can tell so far you are all in _a lot _of trouble. So it is a good idea not to test me at the moment!"

Shina narrowed her eyes and folded her arms, "Make me." She said quietly.

More than one jaw dropped slightly behind ANBU masks at her blatant defiance. Hisoka' s face went blank in the way that only the Uchiha can pull off.

"Take these children into the waiting room and call their parents." He said quietly, "I will deal with them when I have finished here."

Two of the ANBU moved forward to herd the other kids out whilst the one restraining Shina wrapped his arms around Shina to hoist her up.

"Put me down!" Shina yelled, her hands suddenly moving to form three seals.

Ooze started to seep from her skin, soaking into her clothes and causing the ANBU holding her to suddenly curse and drop her, shaking his hands. Another ANBU moved forward to grab at Shina but was stopped by the first one.

"Don't, that stuff she is oozing has a paralysing agent." He said gruffly.

Hidan ducked his head and grinned. Shina glared at Hisoka before pointing at Hidan.

"He has broken ribs, let me heal him first, then I'll go wait with the others."

"How do you know he is injured?" Hisoka asked her with his own glare.

Shina pulled down the collar of her shirt just enough to reveal the starburst seal on her skin, "I can feel the pain through this."

The Hokages eyes narrowed, "What is that?"

Shina gave a pointed look at Matsu, making Hisoka look at him as well.

"That is a restriction jutsu that Shina developed and tested on Kurama. Kurama couldn't break it." Matsu answered.

The Hokage's eyebrows twitched slightly in surprise. This girl created a jutsu that could restrict Kurama at such a young age. He regarded the young Nara girl for a few moments, sizing her up. He had always assumed that Ayame's best friend was a quiet, gentle and intelligent girl that had the makings of becoming a very good medic. He had no idea that she had harboured such a defiant streak and a cunning adaptability. She stared him straight in the eyes, her arms crossed and dripping her paralysing ooze on his office floor. Hisoka gave a lazy wave.

"Heal him, then get to the waiting room with the others." He said sharply.

Shina didn't waste any time. She walked over her hands glowing green and placed them on Hidan's ribs. She looked up at Hidan and gave him a glare.

"What were you thinking?" She hissed quietly at him.

Hidan gave an imperceptible shrug.

"You are such a pain!" Shina mumbled.

"Takes one to know one." Hidan muttered back, "you better not get any of that fucking ooze on me."

Shina just gave a suppressed laugh that sounded suspiciously like half a sob to Hidan.

"Don't fucking worry about me, worry about yourself." Hidan muttered.

She shifted her hands to a different spot to heal the bruising, "I have nothing to worry about." Shina muttered back as she finished and pulled away. Hidan took a deep breath, broken ribs were a pain to deal with so he was secretly glad that Shina had healed them.

Taking a few steps towards the door Shina paused, then slowly and deliberately she ran her hands down either side of her arms before flicking the gathered ooze on the floor. She then released her technique and walked out with the numb handed ANBU following her. Hidan ducked his head with a suppressed snort of laughter at Shina's parting shot.

The Hokage turned his gaze to Hidan.

"Take him to a maximum security cell in the ANBU Headquarters. I need to gather some more information before I decided on how to deal with him."

Two of the remaining three ANBU each took one of Hidan's arms whilst the third one led the way and they walked out, careful to avoid the ooze still puddling the floor. Once they were out of sight Hisoka sunk into his chair with a sigh.

"What the hell am I going to do with this mess?" He muttered massaging his temples.

Matsu gave a shrug as the red chakra faded back into his body, "Kurama thinks you should burn him to a crisp." Matsu replied.

"Although that sounds like an absolutely lovely idea, I'll have to put that one of the backburner though." Hisoka replied wryly. He stood up, "I think it's time to have a little chat with those kids now. Can you go get them?"

"Sure."

A few minutes later all six teenagers (and one puppy) were lined up in front of the Hokages desk. He looked at each of them in turn. Kimi and the twins at least had the decency to look nervous and guilty. Shina and Ayame were both outright defiant. Hiroshi simply stood up straight with his chin held high, ready to take any punishment dealt out. Behind them stood the three ANBU that escorted them out earlier. Where to start? Hisoka thought raking his gaze back over the group before settling on Shina. Of course, Hidan was buried on the Nara property so it would make sense to start with her.

"Why?" He finally spoke.

For a split second Shina thought about playing dumb, but something told her that the Hokage was in no mood to indulge in any more games with her at the moment.

"I wanted to know how his immortality worked. I hoped to replicate or at least adapt it to create a new medical ninjutsu." Shina answered.

"So you put this village, your friends and family, at risk for a new jutsu?"

Shina's face twitched, "They were never in danger." She answered, her tone turned cold, "I would never put them in danger."

He frowned slightly before turning to his niece, "Ayame, I'm surprised and disappointed in you. You are an Uchiha and a Konoha kunoichi, I expected you to have more sense."

Ayame's reply to her Uncle shocked the entire room.

"Fuck you." Ayame said crossing her arms and sticking her nose in the air, "Meeting Hidan has been one the best things I could've ever done."

Her friends just stared in open mouthed shock at Ayame. She _never_ swore before. Shina recovered first, ducking her head with a small smile. Hisoka just regarded her with a cool stare, only his changing eye colour and lightly clenched jaw betraying his anger at her sheer insolence and cheek. After a few moments he was able to unclench his teeth enough to speak.

"How could meeting a _criminal_ be of _any_ benefit to you?" he asked in a frosty tone.

Ayame stared right into her Uncle's Sharingan eyes, "I now know that I don't need the Sharingan to be a strong kunoichi and I don't need it to be an Uchiha. Even if I don't get it, I will still be strong."

Hisoka's anger drained away at that. He knew that Ayame was worried about her lack of Sharingan since her younger brother got it, he just hadn't realised just how strongly she had felt about it. And thinking back he also realised that perhaps the clan did put a little too much emphasis on their Kekkei Genkai. He would have to remedy that attitude at some point.

He refocused his attention back to Shina.

"You need to remove your jutsu from him so that we can deal with him." He said to the Nara girl.

"No." Shina said quietly.

Before he could say anything else though the door banged open and the whole room turned to face the new arrival. Once they saw who it was Kimi and Gin actually shrunk into themselves and they both gave little whimpers. It was Kimi's mother.

That woman was formidable and scary. Hell, even Matsu and Hisoka shrunk a little from the rage blazing from the womans eyes and they weren't even the target of the wrath. She had married into the Inuzuka family but the average person wouldn't have ever known as her attitude and wild nature made her fit right in with them. She narrowed her eyes at her daughter and the ninken. Without a word she marched over and grabbed Kimi by the ear and Gin by the scruff before turning to the Hokage.

"If you are done with these two I would like to get them home." She said, her tone respectful to the Hokage but her fury could be heard underneath.

Hisoka just gave a nod and she turned, marching her daughter out the office door. Matsu let out a breath that he had been holding; damn that woman even scared Kurama a little. He had to feel a little sorry for Kimi, it was never a good idea to be on the wrong side of her mother.

"You will all wait in the waiting room for your parents." Hisoka said to the rest of the teens, "You will get your punishments tomorrow."

The group turned to walk out but where stopped by Matsu.

"Wait." He said, "Shina where is the secondary control scroll?"

Shina pointed to Ayame and Ayame gave a huff, "It's at home."

"Give it to your parents when you get home." The Hokage said, "Now go."

The teens filed out.

One after another the parents arrived to collect their children. The twins father was the first, he didn't say anything just simply pointed to the stairs and the twins walked out with their heads down. Next was Hiroshi's aunt. Like the twins father she didn't say anything, but unlike the twins Hiroshi held his head high and followed after her. Ayame's father and Shina's mother and sister arrived at the same time. The Uchiha patriarch gave his daughter a stony glare which she matched with one of her own before jumping off her chair and stomping down the stairs followed by her father. Shina stood up and faced her mother and sister.

"What did you _do_ Shina?" Her older sister Mei hissed at her.

Their mother laid a hand on her arm, "Not here Mei." She said quietly, "Let's go home."

Shina got up from her chair and went over to her mother. Her mother dropped a hand on Shina's shoulder and steered her out with Mei following. Shina kept her head held high, she didn't regret her actions and she refused to allow her sister to make her feel guilty for it.


	10. Chapter 10

Ahh, this is the last chapter people. I have to be honest, I actually didn't expect this story to be this long. It was originally supposed to be a short little crack story to torture Hidan, but somehow or another it ended up with _plot_ and ended up being _longer_ then Desert Rose, which _was_ intended to be a long story. Funny how things work. Maybe sometime down the track I might do a rewrite for this story and turn it into something more substantial?

Anyway, enough rambling. Enjoy the chapter.

Chapter Ten

Hidan sat on the thin bed in his cell staring at the opposite wall totally bored out of his brains. He heaved a sigh and stood up. Wondering over to the door he peered out the little barred window.

"HELLOOOO?" He yelled, "SOMEBODY?"

He heard footsteps tapping down the corridor and a lazy grin spread over his face. Finally, someone to torture.

The ANBU came to a stop in front of his cell.

"What do you want?" A male voice issued out from behind the mask.

"I'm bored." Hidan said.

The ANBU made a tsk sound before turning around and walking off.

"You know Shina may be just a fucking kid, but at least she knows how to entertain a person!" He yelled after the elite ninja.

The ANBU froze. Oop, Hidan thought, hit a nerve there. The ANBU turned and walked back lifting his mask in the process. That was when Hidan noticed a family resemblance to Shina.

"If it was up to me I would see you shredded to pieces and buried so deep that not even your precious Jashin would be able to find you!" the Nara ANBU hissed at Hidan, his face screwed up in rage.

Hidan just gave a lazy, cocky grin, "I bet Shina could still find me though. She could probably even put me back together to boot. She is that fucking talented."

"You will not talk about my cousin like that!"

"Why the fuck not? I like her, tough girl. I know she likes me." Hidan continued to grin infuriatingly at the ANBU.

The Nara ANBU gave a growl and shot a hand through the bars to grab at Hidans throat but Hidan stepped back in time.

"Ah, ah," He said shaking a finger, "Can't hurt me now." He pulled down the collar of his shirt to show the starburst seal, "I'm linked to Shina. Anything I feel physically, she can feel as well. Don't want to cause your precious cousin any pain now do you."

The ANBU withdrew his arms with a snarl. He grabbed his mask and put it back on with more force then necessary before storming off. Hidan dropped to the bed with a chuckle; oh that was just too much fun. He slid further down on the bed and tucked his hands behind his head. Man, he missed his bed in the lab, it was a hell of a lot more comfortable then the concrete slab he was currently laying on. He sighed, he knew that when he left the lab this morning that it would come to this. He couldn't allow the kids to risk their future careers anymore for his sake and he knew that with Matsu following the kids that he would pick up on Hidan's presence pretty quick if he came anywhere near them. So Hidan had deliberately put himself in line of sight to be caught.

There was always the slim chance that he could escape clean and if that was the case he had planned to find somewhere to lie low and figure out his next move. But that wasn't the case, he got caught and was now imprisoned and awaiting his fate. It was kind of a load off his shoulders though; he didn't have to worry about what he was going to do with himself anymore. The Hokage would no doubt find some way to have him destroyed and that would be that. In meantime he just planned to annoy every person that came his way, get in his last shits and giggles before they offed him.

Hopefully the teens wouldn't be too sad.

**0o0o0o0**

Shina stood in the middle of the lounge room, the leftover ooze slowly drying on her skin and clothes making her start to feel uncomfortable and in dire need of a shower. Her father, Yasahiro, stood in front of her, a slight frown marring his face. Her mother and sister sat on the chairs off to the side.

"Shina, what were you thinking?" Yasahiro's voice rumbled, disappointment lacing every word, "How could you do something like this?"

Shina just looked away from him, "The same way you avoid spending time with me." She answered in a sulky voice, deflecting the subject to avoid talking about Hidan for now. That and the fact she just felt like being difficult at the moment.

"Shina!" Her mother said in a scolding voice. Yasahiro held up his hand to forestall anything else his wife might have said.

"Why do you think that?" he asked his daughter.

"Because it's true." Shina mumbled, "You are a Nara, and it's easier for you to spend time with Mei then me because she is more like you."

Mei rolled her eyes, "Aren't you a little old to be acting like a spoilt brat."

Shina narrowed her eyes at her sister and before anyone could stop her she pulled some semi dried ooze out of her hair and lobbed it straight at her sister where it hit her face with a satisfying splat. Mei gave a shriek of disgust and lunged for Shina only to be stopped by their father.

"GIRLS." The two sisters froze and looked at their father, "Shina, go have a shower we will finish discussing this later. Mei, go to your room and cool down."

With grumbles both girls split up and went their separate ways.

After her shower, Shina sat on the veranda and looking out over the garden, a slight scowl on her face. She heard footsteps coming towards her but she ignored them. They stopped right behind her.

"Shina, come have a game with me."

"No." Shina replied to her father keeping her gaze out to the garden, "I don't like playing shogi."

"Humour me."

Shina gave a sigh and got up to follow Yasahiro to the game room. They settled on opposites sides of the board and he indicated for her to go first. Shina raked her eyes over the board and picked a piece to move.

"It's true that I do spend more time with Mei." Yasahiro said picking up his own piece and moving it.

Shina clacked her next piece down with a little more force then needed, a small frown marring her face, "Really?" she said sarcastically.

"Don't take that tone with me." He said sharply, looking over the board, "You forget that it goes both ways." He moved a piece. "You're not making much effort either. You used to talk to me all the time, but then you stopped."

"That's because your eyes used to always glaze over." Shina replied grumpily, "What's the point of talking to someone that is clearly not interested." Her hand hovered between two pieces for a moment before she chose one and moved it.

Her father sighed, "To be fair Shina, you talked about your medical training using a lot of terminology that I simply did not know." He moved another piece, "You have no idea the number of times I had to go ask your mother what different words meant."

Shina sighed and looked over the board for a moment before selecting her piece to move.

"Point is," Yasahiro continued, moving his piece, "we need to find some common ground. Something we can both talk about that both parties can understand."

"Like what?" Shina asked quietly, moving another piece.

He thought for a moment, "Your jutsu's. You seem to have a penchant for making new ones." He moved a piece with a clack, "Wasn't that ooze stuff part of your water breathing jutsu?"

Shina gave a small grin, "Yeah, but I made a modified version a few months back so that the ooze has a paralyzing toxin within it. I got the idea after reading about how some frogs can secrete poisons in their mucus."

"That's very clever." He paused for a moment before moving his piece, "Is Mei going to have a numb face?"

Shina pulled a face, "No, she'll be fine. The potency wears off pretty quickly once the ooze starts to dry."

He looked over the board, hmm, time to change his play. Yasahiro moved a piece. An eyebrow twitched in surprise when Shina immediately moved a piece to start a counter attack. He moved a piece to start another new play.

"You know, I wish you and your sister wouldn't fight so much."

A clack, "It's her fault, she's such a snob."

Another clack, "You know, Mei is a good strategist but she has trouble reading the present flow of a battle and quickly adjusting for it."

"…?"

He waved at the board in front of them, "I would've been halfway through a play before Mei picked up and countered. But you are the opposite, you don't form long term plans but you can read a battle and immediately adjust. You and your sister actually make a perfect pair."

Shina snorted and folded her arms, "Try telling her that."

"I already have. I've also told you so now it is up to you two to sort it out." He moved one of his pieces, "Shina, you never answered me before. Why did you dig up and piece Hidan back together?"

Shina's hand hovered over the board. Damn him, she thought, I don't have anything to distract him with. With an internal sigh Shina finally answered, "Because he was unique. I wanted to know how his immortality worked." Her hand dropped to a piece and she moved it, "If I had told the elders or the Hokage then that knowledge would've never been discovered."

"What were you going to do with him once you had completed your research?" Yasahiro moved another piece.

Shina sighed and sullenly moved a piece forward, "I was originally going to turn him over to the Hokage."

"Originally?" Her father asked with a raised brow, "What changed?"

"He saved our lives." Shina replied quietly. The game between them was momentarily forgotten as Shina continued, "He had a chance to kill us, kill _me_, but he didn't. With him I wasn't the weird Nara outcast, I was just Shina, just me. And I liked that."

He gave her a look of concern, "Shina, you are not the 'weird Nara outcast'. Whatever made you think that?"

Shina looked up at him, "The way that all the family looks at me, it's like you don't think I'm smart enough."

Yasahiro sighed, starting to see what the problem with his daughter was, "Shina that is not the case at all. It's quite the opposite actually; you are far too smart for your own good. It worries me a little, you spend so much time cooped up and studying when you should be out with your friends having fun."

Shina pouted, "I _do_ hang out with my friends. Besides, what's wrong with studying?"

He turned his attention back to the game and moved a piece, "You do realise that you intimidate the lab workers sometimes with your questions? They don't like feeling like idiots."

Shina's only response was to move her piece.

The older Nara moved his piece, "Gaining knowledge isn't everything in this life. It is _certainly_ no justification to be associating with an S-Class criminal like Hidan. Did you even stop to think about the danger at all?"

Shina's hands clenched in her lap, "No one was in any danger at any time." She ground out, "The constriction seal worked fine."

"Nothing is guaranteed."

Shina looked down at the board allowing the silence to descend for a full minute, a scowl painted across her face. Then slowly and deliberately she picked up a piece and moved it, leaving herself wide open for her father to win. He gave her a slight frown but didn't make a move just yet.

"Shina, this disregard you have towards the sheer seriousness of this transgression worries me." He said.

Shina reached across the board and picked up one of her father's pieces and moved it so that it was in the winning position, "I _never_ disregard threats to this village, father, and if Hidan had become a threat then I would've taken care of it and none would've been the wiser."

She then stood up and walked out. Yasahiro gave a sigh and reset the pieces on the board.

**0o0o0o0**

The next morning found all the teens back in the Hokage's office awaiting their fate. Behind the kids were their respective parents.

Hisoka slowly ran his gaze over each of them before speaking.

"Before I hand out your punishments is there anything any of you would want to say?"

Shina stepped forward, "This is all my idea and my fault. The others were only involved because I blackmailed them into it. They did try to talk me out of it initially. Please go easy on them." She stepped back.

The Hokage's face remained blank. After a few moments of silence in which the tension thickened he finally drew in a breath.

"Harboring and hiding a criminal like Hidan is a very serious offense and could technically be considered treason. However, because you are children still, no treason charge will be placed against you. But that doesn't lessen the seriousness of what you all did. So, for Ayame, Daiki, Akira, Hiroshi and Kimi, you five are banned from applying for chunin status until the age of eighteen. Also for the next six months you are confined to D-rank missions only within the village. Count yourselves lucky that I didn't decide to send you back to the Academy or revoke your ninja status altogether. You are dismissed."

With various mixed expressions the five mentioned teens all filed out of the office. As Ayame passed Shina she brushed her hand against her friends arm in comfort before continuing on. Once they were out the Hokage turned his attention to Shina. Shina stood up straight and held her chin up.

"Shina, it was your ancestor that originally buried Hidan. I'm sure if he knew what you did, he would be rolling in his grave." He gave a tired sigh before continuing, "You have claimed bulk responsibility for this and as such you will bear the bulk of the consequences. Until you are sixteen your active status is revoked, you are banned from taking missions. During that period of time you will be a medic only. On your sixteenth birthday your active status will be restored. However you will not be able to apply for chunin status until the age of twenty. Is that understood?"

"Yes Hokage." Shina answered.

"Dismissed then."

With that Shina turned and left the office with her parents.

The walk home was quiet for all of them. When they arrived at the house Shina quietly excused herself and went out to her lab. Once the lab door was closed behind her she grabbed a stool and threw it at the wall before slumping to the floor in the middle of the lab, tears threatening to fall. She knew that she was reacting stupidly and she knew that her punishment was more than fair but it didn't stop her from being upset.

Angrily she swiped the tears from her eyes, it would be alright, she could do it. It was only three years then she could go back out on missions. Only three years. After that it would only be four years before she could become a chunin. She stood up and walked over to the bench where she had books and notebooks permanently spread. With no missions she could spend more time training and studying. She refused to let that time go to waste.

That was when she spotted a folded piece of paper on the bench weighted down with Hidan's Jashin pendant. Shina gave a slight frown and picked it up. On it were just a few lines.

_Shina_

_Good luck with your new jutsu._

Carefully she folded it back up and placed it to one side with the pendant on top. Afterwards she sat on the stool with her chin in her hands and just stared at the note. After what seemed like an eternity a smile crept over her face. Yes, she now had a lot of time to work on it and she was going to be damned if she let all that information go to waste.

**0o0o0o0**

Three days.

For three days he had been locked in the cell and he was pretty sure that the ANBU assigned to bring him his meals were now drawing straws to try and avoid coming anywhere near him. Hidan grinned when he heard the quick tapping of feet walking towards his cell.

He drew a breath and at the top of his lungs he started to sing very loudly and very off key, "I KNOW A SONG THAT WILL GET ON YOUR NERVES, GET ON YOUR NERVES, GET ON YOUR NERVES!" the footsteps increased in speed to suddenly stop at his cell door as Hidan continued to sing. A tray was shoved quickly through a slot at the bottom of his door and the footsteps all but ran out.

Hidan stopped singing with a chuckle and got off his bed to retrieve his food. With copious amounts of time on his hands he spent most of his time trying to come up with new ways to annoy the ANBU guards. He knew it was childish but he couldn't help himself, it was the last bit of fun he would ever get.

The day wore on with no other guards coming and at one point he dozed. It was early evening when he heard footsteps again. But this time it wasn't just one set, it was multiple. Curious, he stood up and went over to his door to try and peer out of the little window. However he took a step back when a masked face suddenly loomed in front of him. He didn't recognise it as one of his regular guards.

"Activate the seal." Hidan recognised the voice as the Hokage.

Hidan gave an annoyed sigh as he felt that familiar tingle of chakra run down his spine, immobilising him in place.

"It's done." A small voice said.

Hidan knew that voice, "Shina?" he asked.

"Why can he talk?" The Hokage asked.

"Because I let him." He heard Shina reply, "Don't worry, he won't move unless I want him to."

The cell door unlocked with a clang and the door opened silently to reveal a group of people standing in the hallway. Hidan only recognised the Hokage and Shina. The other four where ANBU.

"Your fate has been decided." The Hokage said to Hidan before turning to Shina, "Bring him."

Hidan found himself walking forward until he was in front of the Nara girl. Shina reached up and grasped his hand before leading him down the hallway behind the two ANBU that preceded them. Hisoka frowned but didn't say anything as he knew that it wouldn't make a difference. Despite the girls subdued attitude she still held tight to her defiance. Evident in the fact that she refused to teach anyone how to work the seal and had known that there wasn't much else the Hokage could do to force her. So considering that Shina had to be physically present to remove the seal anyway, he decided to allow her to be the one to control him as well.

Hidan looked down at Shina with a small frown, "You look like shit. Looks like _you're_ the one that's been sleeping in the cell, not me." Hidan grunted at her.

"Heh," Shina gave a small huffed laugh, "I'll be fine, just a rough patch."

There was a moment of silence, "How are you all going?" He asked quietly.

Shina gave a half shrug, "We've been better. But we will all be alright."

They arrived at a door and entered in to find it was an infirmary of sorts. In the middle of the room was one of those Jashin-damned awful steel tables and next to it stood Shina's Sensei, Kyoko. The ANBU spread out through the room as Shina, Hidan and Hisoka approached the table.

"Put him on the table Shina." Kyoko said quietly.

Shina pursed her lips for a moment before throwing her arms around Hidan in a hug, much to Hidan's annoyance.

He made a noise of irritation, "What have I said about the bloody hugging thing?"

But Shina just ignored him so he gave a sigh and didn't say anything else. After a few moments the Hokage cleared his throat so Shina released Hidan and took a step back, making him climb onto the table. Kyoko jabbed a needle into his neck and injected a clear liquid. Shina stepped forward and looked down at him as a heavy drowsiness started to creep over him.

"What's going to happen to me?" Hidan asked no one in particular.

"You're going to be frozen. Indefinitely." Shina replied quietly before placing a hand on his shoulder, "Thank you Hidan. For everything you have done for us." She said.

He gave her a cocky grin, "It was fun." He said, his voice slightly slurred, "See ya 'round."

As he slipped into unconsciousness he couldn't help but idly wonder what all the kids would turn out like and feel a twinge of regret that he would never see it.

Biting her bottom lip and quickly swiping away the tears that threatened to fall Shina made the hand seals for the jutsu's release and placed her hands on his chest. The seals disappeared and she let her hands drop to her sides. The Hokage nodded to one of the ANBU whom came over and escorted Shina out of the building.

**0o0o0o0**

**A/N:** Not quite the end. Keep your eyes peeled, Epilogue next week.


	11. Epilogue

Tsk tsk, can't have a crack story without a happy ending now can we?

I just want to take a moment to give a big thank you to everyone that read, followed, favourited and reviewed. I'm glad that I have been able to bring some measure of enjoyment and entertainment to your life.

I also apologise to those readers that don't like long chapters, this epilogue is much longer then my average chapter length, but I had a lot to stuff in and tie up. Anyway, enjoy.

Cheers

Epilogue

Slowly Hidan started to become aware of the fact that he was freezing cold. Faintly voices drifted around him and he became aware of an overall dull ache throughout his body. He gave a quiet groan as he tried to move. The voices above him became clearer.

"Hey, hey he's coming around." This voice was female.

He felt a light tapping on his cheek, "Come on wake up. You need to be conscious." A different female voice this time.

Hidan just moved his head away, his brain running sluggishly slow. He just wanted to go back to sleep.

"That piss weak tapping isn't going to do shit." The first voice scolded.

"Well what do you suggest?" the second voice snapped back.

"This."

There was a moment of quiet before a sharp pain bloomed over Hidan's cheek. His eyes shot open and he jerked upright with a curse, now very much awake.

"MOTHERFUCKER!" he grabbed his abused cheek, "What the fuck!?"

"Heh, heh. See? That worked." The first voice sounded smug.

Hidan blinked a few times, trying to get his blurry vision to focus. Something warm was draped over his shoulders and that was when he realised that he was still freezing cold and the blanket that had been put over him was incredibly warm. A hand gently grabbed his chin and moved his face to his right.

"Hidan, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"…the fuck?" he muttered squinting at the blurry shapes, "I dunno."

A muffled snort of laughter was heard on his left. The hand that was in front of his face moved forward and was placed over his eyes. He felt warm chakra seep into his face and he relaxed, slumping forward a bit. His initial adrenaline rush from the face slap was wearing off and fatigue was settling back in. A pair of arms wrapped around his chest from his left.

"Oh no you don't. You need to wake up or do I need to slap you again?"

"Fuck you." Hidan growled at the mystery woman, "What the fuck is happening anyway? How long have I been out? And who the fuck are you two?"

The warmth that was seeping through his body was starting to restore his mental facilities and he remembered that he was supposed to be frozen indefinitely. The hand over his eyes was removed and he opened them, glad to find that they actually focused into clear vision this time. He straightened up and the arms holding him up were removed.

"How is it now?"

"Better." He grunted as he looked up at the owner of the hand and blinked a few times, "You look familiar." He said trying to get his brain to supply the answer.

Dark green eyes shone with deep amusement, "You have been frozen for roughly fifteen years Hidan. Kids tend to grow up in that time."

Hidan's eyes widened as he realised who she was.

"Shina?"

Shina just gave a warm smile and put her hands on his shoulders, pushing more chakra into him.

"Yes."

He turned to the other person, "Holy fuck, Princess?!"

Ayame crossed her arms with a smirk, "Who else?"

"Fuck. This is so weird." He said staring at their faces.

"Wait til you see the others. I swear Akira and Daiki are taller than you now." Shina commented as she shifted her hands to his legs and pushed more rejuvenating chakra into them.

Hidan just couldn't stop staring at the pair.

"Anyway, you're nice and awake now so when are we doing this Shina?" Ayame said.

"Doing what?" Hidan asked as he rubbed at his face.

"Not yet Ayame, let him wake up some more first." Shina replied.

"What the fuck are you going to do?" Hidan growled out.

Ayame clapped a hand on his shoulder with a grin, "You and me, kitten, are in for a rough ride."

Hidan scowled, "Did you just call me kitten?" he asked her in a low tone.

"Yes."

"Why the fuck would you call me kitten?" he ground out.

Ayame just gave his cheek a pat, "Because I can. And because you aren't the scariest thing in this village anymore."

"Wha….?"

"Hmm, she's right." Shina said absently placing her hands back on his chest and sending her chakra in, "It's partly because of Ayame here that we were able to convince the council to allow the hearing."

Hidan was just extremely confused now. Shina noticed his expression.

"Sorry," she said removing her hands, "We should start at the beginning."

"That would bloody help." Hidan muttered.

"Alright," Shina took a deep breath, "After you were frozen we had to keep our heads down for a little while, but we didn't stay completely idle. Over the past fifteen years we have all gathered information, mostly about your religion, in an effort to figure out your immortality status."

"Eh, mostly it was Shina that did the research." Ayame said casually picking at her nails, "The rest of us just got little bits of info here and there."

"Anyway," Shina continued, "a couple of years ago we started to petition for your release."

Hidan frowned, "Why the fuck would you do that?"

Shina gave a wry smile, "Like I told you so long ago, we like you. You're our friend."

"So, what? I'm free now?" he asked .

"Not quite," Shina said, "First is the hearing. If it goes well then yes, you could be free, with conditions."

"And if it goes badly?"

"They're gonna kill you." Ayame replied.

"Oh, so they found something big enough to blow me to pieces then?" Hidan said sarcastically.

"No, I imagine they would go for something simple. You know, lethal injection or maybe the ever popular sword through the heart." Ayame said casually.

"What?"

Shina rubbed the back of her neck, "I figured out how to remove your immortality."

Hidan just gaped at her in surprise.

"Before you go to the hearing, we have to remove your immortality. It's one of the conditions; we also had to put the constriction seal on you as well." Ayame said holding up his wrist.

That's when Hidan noticed the familiar chain pattern wrapped around his wrist. He looked up at Shina.

"So, back to being my keeper then?" he asked.

Shina shook her head, "No. I have to perform the procedure, I can't be linked into your nervous system and do the immortality removal at the same time."

"Why not?"

"Because apparently it's gonna hurt like a bitch." Ayame said cheerfully as she pulled down the collar of her shirt revealing the starburst seal on her chest, "And because I have a very high tolerance for pain, I'm your primary controller."

"Oh." Hidan didn't have anything else to say as he stared at the seal on Ayame, suddenly and forcefully hit with the fact that they had indeed grown up and were most definitely _not_ children anymore as he took vague note of the way the bottom points of the star curved over the top...

A whack across the back of his head drew his attention back to Shina.

"Stop perving." She said with a scowl.

Hidan's face went red as he realised that was exactly what he was doing; "I was not." He grumbled. Ayame just grinned as she released her shirt collar, whilst Shina rolled her eyes.

"Well, we might as well get this over with now." Shina said, "Just lie back down and try to get comfy."

But Hidan didn't. Instead he looked at Shina.

"Why are you even doing this for me?" He looked down at his hands, "I mean, I'm a fucking mass murderer, a former member of Akatsuki and I haven't exactly been the nicest fucking person. So why didn't you just leave me frozen?"

"Because you deserve the same chance that you gave us." Ayame said quietly, "Yeah, you weren't the nicest person in the world, but you did save our lives once and you gave us each something we were missing at the time." She reached out her hands and grasped his head, turning his face towards her so that she could put a kiss on his forehead, "I wouldn't have become the person I am now if it wasn't for you."

Hidan was just in shock as he stared up at the Uchiha. When Shina pressed his shoulder to get him to lie down, he didn't resist. She got something off a little table behind her and bought it to his mouth.

"Here, bite down on this."

He opened his mouth and bit down on the mouth guard she placed in his mouth before handing Ayame another one. Ayame grinned at him before placing it in her mouth. Shina moved to the head of the table and took a couple of deep breaths as her hands moved to make three seals before placing her hands on his abdomen. A large seal bloomed over his abdomen crawling all the way up his chest.

"Alright. Now for the painful part." Shina said as she formed another three seals and placed her hands back on his chest.

As soon as she touched his skin he drew a sharp breath in through his nose. Sweet fuck! It felt like she was pouring liquid fire through his body and it was just getting worse. He screwed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth on the mouth guard.

"Keep him still." Shina said to Ayame and she concentrated on her task.

Ayame nodded, a grimace of her own on her face as she put her hand over the seal on her chest and activated it, forcing Hidan's body into paralysis. Hidan didn't even notice, all he could feel was the fire crawling through his veins. It crawled through his chest and started to slowly make its way down his arms and legs. He was sweating and breathing hard now, how much longer was this going to last?! The pain reached the tips of his fingers and toes, flaring up for a moment before finally fading away leaving a hollow feeling in his entire body.

He opened his eyes and looked at the girls. Shina wiped her sleeve over her forehead as Ayame leaned over the table with her hands braced on the edge. She drew a hand up to her chest and released the paralysis on Hidan. He spat out the mouth guard.

"What in the fucking hell was that!" He gasped out between heavy breaths.

"That was an experimental procedure. In stupid speak, I stripped the outer layer off your chakra network, my theory being that with a more normal network you will lose your immortality." Shina blew out a breath, "However what the council doesn't know is that I suspect that the effect is not permanent."

Ayame pulled out the mouth guard, "You didn't tell me that." She accused.

Shina shrugged, "The less people that knew the better. Besides, the rate that it would come back at is very slow. Although I do hold the theory that the sacrificial ritual that he does actually accelerates the process."

"Ah, what a pity." Ayame said with a grin, "Looks like we'll be taking this ride again."

"What?" Hidan groaned, "Why?"

"I work in T&I." Ayame answered with a grin, "If all goes well in the hearing, you're gonna be working for me. And I'm sure as shit not letting your skill set go to waste."

"If I'm not fucking immortal anymore, how the hell am I going to sacrifice the heathens?"

Ayame patted his shoulder, "The same way you did it before you came immortal." She said cheerily, "I think it would make a _wonderful_ interrogation technique."

Hidan couldn't help himself, he gave a laugh. Even Shina gave a grin as she gave Hidan a pat on the shoulder.

"You can rest now. I'm finished so I'm going to go home now." Shina said rubbing her eyes, "I need to get some sleep if I'm going to be defending your ass at the hearing tomorrow."

Shina gave a half wave before leaving. Ayame poked Hidan in the ribs.

"Come on get up. I'm beat and I wanna get out of here, this place creeps me out."

Hidan slowly sat up with a groan the blanket slipping off his shoulders, "Where the fuck are we anyway?" he asked actually looking around the room for the first time since he woke.

"The hospital morgue." Ayame answered.

Hidan suddenly skittered off the steel table he was sitting on, feeling strangely energised for a moment.

"What the fuck?!" He said.

Ayame shrugged, "They already had a freezer running permanently, made sense to stash you here." She grabbed his upper arm, "Come on, this way."

Hidan was more than glad to be out of the morgue. She steered him down some corridors before going out a back door.

"Where are you taking me?" Hidan finally asked as she released her hold and walked down a street with him following.

"My place."

He gave a light frown, "Your place? Why?"

"'Cause you're my responsibility. By the way, you're on the couch and if I hear you snore then I have a ball gag handy."

Hidan processed that sentence for a few long moments as his brain latched onto one fact. Ayame just grinned.

"What are you doing with a ball gag?" Hidan finally asked a small frown of confusion and a little trepidation on his face.

"Hmm, I use it." Ayame replied, watching Hidan's reaction out the corner of her eye.

Full realisation processed itself in Hidan's mind at that moment and he wisely didn't ask anymore, however Ayame wasn't done needling him.

"Maybe if you ask really nice, I'll use it on you anyway." She said in a low voice, biting her tongue so that she didn't laugh as Hidan missed a step and gave her a surprised stare.

Her composure didn't last long though as she gave a snort that evolved to full out giggles. Hidan's face went from surprise to irritation rather rapidly.

"Oh fuck, I've been waiting forever to do that to you." Ayame gasped out.

"That's not fucking funny." Hidan grumbled.

Ayame wrangled her laughter under control but continued to grin widely as she led Hidan into an apartment complex. Opening the door to her residence she waved Hidan in first, following him in and closing the door behind her. She pointed to her couch.

"I'll just grab you a pillow and blanket." She said opening the closet in the short hallway.

Grabbing the items Ayame delivered them into Hidan's arms and gave a little half wave.

"Right, I'm off to bed. See you in the morning." She then walked off towards the direction of her bedroom, leaving Hidan in the middle of her lounge room still holding the bedding.

With a slight scowl, Hidan tossed the pillow on one end of the couch before shaking out the blanket. As Hidan laid himself down on the couch and pulled the blanket over him a wave of fatigue swept over him and he was asleep before he knew it.

**0o0o0o0**

Hidan was woken the next morning by the rather inglorious method of a cushion to the face. He shot up with a curse only to find Ayame standing next to the couch casually chewing on a piece of toast.

"Get up, we have to meet up with Shina and Hiroshi before the hearing. Bathroom's down the hall on the left. I left you a towel and a change of clothes."

With a muttered groan, Hidan hauled himself out of the surprisingly comfy couch and stretched out all his joints with satisfying pops. He slouched off to the bathroom to shower.

Half an hour later he emerged, cleaner, dressed and feeling much more awake. Making his way into the kitchen/dining room area he saw Ayame sitting at her small table, sipping her cup of tea.

"Feel better?" She asked finishing off her drink and standing up.

"Yeah." Hidan replied absently as he scratched lightly at his abdomen, "I'm bloody hungry though."

Ayame walked past him to dump her cup in the sink and gave a wave around the kitchen.

"Find something to eat then. Just hurry up, we have to go soon."

"Great fucking host you are." Hidan said sarcastically as he went to rummage through the nearest cupboard.

Ayame just gave him a toothy grin. It didn't take long for Hidan to find something he could munch on whilst walking. Ayame dragged him out, locking the door behind her, and lead him off down the street. Hidan chewed his food, looking around the Village in curiosity. It didn't seem as if much had changed in the past fifteen years that he had been frozen. Suddenly he heard something whizzing straight for him. With eyes going wide, Hidan tried to dodge the projectile heading straight for his head, suddenly acutely aware of his mortal status. But his reflexes were sluggish and couldn't respond in time.

The wooden kunai hit him square in the forehead.

He heard Ayame giggle next to him as he clapped a hand to his forehead and let out a curse.

"FUCK!" Hidan scowled at the Uchiha, "Stop fucking laughing at me!"

Shina and another ninja appeared before them.

"Okay, you were right, that was a lot funnier then I thought." Shina said with a grin.

Hidan swung his scowl around to shoot at the two recent arrivals. Next to a grinning Shina stood a Hyuuga sporting a smug smirk. Shit, Hidan thought, that must be the all grown-up Hiroshi.

"I apologise." Hiroshi said without _any_ hint of apologetic tone in his voice, "Shina told me that your reflexes would still be compromised due to the freezing. So this would've been the only chance I would get to do this."

Hidan just made some indistinct grumbling noises. His eyes suddenly widened as the words really sunk in and he was struck with a horrible thought.

"Do the twins know this?" He asked.

All three of them suddenly found the surroundings utterly fascinating. Hidan gave a growl.

"Have all of you fucking brats got some sort of similar greeting for me?!"

"Maaaybe." Shina said, false innocence dripping in her voice.

Hidan just levelled a glare at them, "I fucking hate you all right now."

Ayame threaded her arm around his, "Don't be like that. The only ones you really have to worry about at the moment are Kimi and Gin. Daiki is out on a mission with his genin team and won't be back until late this afternoon and Akira is on Hokage bodyguard duty today."

Hidan just gave her a glare which quickly morphed into confusion when Ayame suddenly detangled herself from him and quickly took three steps away. No sooner had she left his personal space Hidan was tackled to the ground.

He hit the ground with an 'oof' as the air was knocked out of him. Suddenly something wet and long started to assault his face. That managed to spur him into action. He swatted his hands at the offending assailant, only to find his hands encountering nothing. Cautiously he cracked his eyes opened and was confronted with a large furry face.

What. The. Fuck? With a growl, Hidan realised that it was a dog and sat himself up so that he could shove the creature from his lap. But the dog was _huge_ and resisted his attempts to push it off, even going so far as to plonk its furry ass on his legs, effectively pinning him.

"Get the fuck off!" Hidan yelled, giving another futile shove.

The only response he got was that large wet tongue swiping up his face.

"ERG! Don't fucking lick me! You lick your own ass with that! I don't want that on my fucking face." As Hidan wiped the dog spit from his face, he became aware of laughter. A face popped into his field of vision and he instantly recognized the red inverted triangles running down the cheeks. Which could only mean one thing.

"Kimi, get the fucking dog off me." He ground out.

Kimi gave Gin a scratch around the ears.

"Awww, Gin's just saying hello." Kimi said with a toothy grin, "She won't move until you give her a scratch."

Hidan just levelled a deadpan glare at the dog sitting on top of him. Gin dropped her bottom jaw in a doggy grin before sticking her nose under Hidan's chin.

"Oh for fucks sack, fine!" Hidan raised his hand and gave Gin two scratches on the top of the head, "There, now get the fuck off."

With a wag of her tail, Gin stood up and backed up a few steps allowing Hidan to climb back to his feet. With muttered curses Hidan slapped his hands over himself dislodging dust and dog hair off his clothes. Kimi just gave a laugh.

"It's good to see you again." She said, "I have to go but I'll find you guys after the hearing."

With a cheery wave, Kimi and Gin took off bounding over the rooftops.

"Don't worry Hidan, the trauma is done for today." Ayame said, slipping her arm back around his again.

Hidan just shot her a look that clearly said he didn't believe her.

"Come on you two." Shina said giving a wave of her hand, "We need to discuss what is going to happen in this hearing."

Five minutes later found all four of them in a secluded corner of a teahouse. Once they were all settled Shina turned to Hidan.

"Ok, the purpose of this hearing is to determine whether or not you should be allowed to live out your life as a Konoha shinobi or if your past crimes are too heinous to allow that. Now, what you have…"

"Wait, wait, wait," Hidan interrupted Shina, "Who says I want to be a pansy little leaf shinobi?"

"We do, now shut up and listen." Ayame said.

"Fuck you Princess, this is _my_ fucking life we're talking about." Hidan shot back.

Shina sighed, "Hidan, you don't have many choices, especially now that you're mortal. It's either be a Konoha shinobi or death."

"Oh fan-fucking-tastic." Hidan said sarcastically, "real great fucking choices there."

"Stop being difficult Hidan." Hiroshi said calmly, "I know that it seems like we are just taking over your life, but please have a little faith that we are doing what is best for you in the long run."

Hidan planted his chin in his palm with a scowl looking away from the other three. Smart ass Hyuuga, he thought grumpily, thinks he knows everything. Hiroshi was correct though, Hidan hadn't even been defrosted twenty-four hours yet and the entire time he had been bossed around by a group of former brats. The lack of control over movements combined with the greetings given had left him irritable and feeling childish.

With no more protest from Hidan Shina decided to continue on, "You have two things going in your favour. One, the crimes you committed were done over a hundred and fifty years ago. Intellectually they know the crimes are heinous, but at the same time they are not _emotionally_ invested in killing you, which is a good thing. Second, you saved our lives and during the time you were free you didn't harm any Konoha citizens. That's what's going to give you the biggest brownie points of all."

"So what the fuck do I need to do?" Hidan finally muttered.

"They are going to ask you a lot of questions about the time between when you were dug up and when you were frozen."

"What kind of questions?"

Shina shrugged, "That I don't know, I'm sorry."

Hidan let his hands slide forward on the table, his chin dropping until it rested on the wood surface between his arms.

"I just want this fucking hearing thing over with." He grumbled.

"We all do." Ayame said patting his head.

The next half hour was spent in the teashop with Shina, Ayame and Hiroshi filling Hidan in with what the group had all done with themselves. Hidan found himself not terribly surprised at where they all went with their ninja careers. As she stated last night, Ayame worked in T&I, privately Hidan thought it suited her just right. Considering she had no problems stabbing _him_, once upon a time, torturing enemy ninja would be a breeze for her. Akira was in ANBU, which explained the Hokage bodyguard duty. Hidan was a little surprised that Daiki wasn't in ANBU as well considering that he regarded both of them as shady little bastards. But then again, Daiki had a genin team, his shady skills were still put to good use torturing… sorry _training_ the little brats.

He wasn't the only one with a genin team, Kimi had one as well. And according to the others, she took great pleasure _training_ them as well. Ayame had found out that Kimi's genin team thought she was a little sadistic. The biggest surprise was what Shina was working towards. She wanted to be Hokage. That had caused Hidan's eyebrows to rise in surprise. He had pegged her for going primarily in R&D. What wasn't surprising was Hiroshi supporting her ambitions. As a jounin from the prestigious Hyuuga clan, his support would go a long way to Shina obtaining her goal.

Which made him think, did the pair ever end up together? And whilst he was at it, did Ayame ever get her Sharingan? However he never got to ask as they had to get up and leave for the hearing.

Hidan didn't want to admit it, but he was actually a little nervous walking into the deceptively innocent room.

It turned out to be one of the most mind-numbingly boring things he had _ever_ had to experience. The only thing that stopped him from snapping in irritation at the Hokage and council elders was Ayame and Shina's sharp elbows in his sides. The others were also questioned, but not as much as him.

What Hidan didn't know was that the Hokage and the elders were not only listening to his answers, they were also observing his interactions with the young people that had vouched for him. Hisoka hid a smile behind his interlaced fingers. As much as Hidan put on the grumpy, bad ass façade, the truth was that Hisoka could see that Hidan really did care for the kids and no matter his past actions as a member of Akatsuki, he wouldn't hurt them.

Finally after over an hour of the endless questions they were sent out to the waiting room whilst Hidan's fate was discussed.

It didn't take long, which was a surprise to them when they were called in after only half an hour. Quietly the four of them filed in and stood before the Hokage, the council elders nowhere in sight. Hisoka didn't waste any time.

"A decision has been reached. In the matter of Hidan's allowance to live out the remainder of his days as a Konoha shinobi, we have decided…" He paused for a moment giving an internal grin at the way all four of them held their breaths. "We have decided to allow it. From today, Hidan is a citizen and shinobi of Konohagakure."

There was a few moments of silence as the words fully sunk it. Only to be broken my Ayame's loud shout.

"FUCK YES!"

Hidan just about jumped out of his skin at the Uchiha's shout.

"Shit Princess, don't fucking yell like that!" Hidan scolded her.

"Quit your bitching, you get to live." Ayame said grabbing his hand, "Now let's go celebrate."

With that Ayame dragged Hidan out of the room to go find the nearest bar. Shina just shook her head with a smile. Hisoka gave a sigh and waved Shina over.

"Can you give this to Hidan? Ayame dragged him off before I was finished."

Shina took the object from him.

"Thank you." Shina said to him.

Hisoka busied himself with straightening the papers in front of him, "I don't know what you're thanking _me_ for. You kids are the ones that did all the work." He shot a look and a small smile at the Nara girl. Shina just smiled back, she knew he didn't mean just the past fifteen years of research and lobbying. He was also referring to the time that all six of them spent with him when they were kids, how they changed him.

"If you would excuse me, I have to go find the new genin."

Hisoka waved her off. Shina turned and walked out with Hiroshi following.

Luckily Shina didn't have to go far to find Ayame and Hidan. Hiroshi excused himself and Shina gave him a wave goodbye before turning back to the duo.

"Ayame, wait a minute." She yelled out.

Ayame paused just as she was about to turn into the bar. Shina hurried over to them.

"I need Hidan for just a moment." Shina said in response to Ayame's questioning look.

Ayame released her grip on Hidan, "Sure." She turned to Hidan, "I'm gonna go order some drinks. Get your ass in here as soon as she's finished with you."

"You're a really fucking pushy person Princess. I'll come in when I'm good and fucking ready to." Hidan growled at her.

Ayame just rolled her eyes, "Stop whining, I'm shouting you free booze for the rest of the night." She walked off into the bar, not bothering to wait for a reply. Hidan just made some grumpy mutterings before turning to Shina.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"I've got something for you." Shina chirped happily.

Hidan just gave her a questioning look.

"Close your eyes."

He gave her a suspicious squint for a moment before closing his eyes. He felt her put something around his neck and tie it up at the back. Once she was done, she stepped back.

"Ok, you can open them now."

Hidan opened his eyes and looked down at what she had put on him. Lifting his hand, he held the object up to get a closer look.

It was a Konoha hitai-ate.

"Congratulations. You're now a Konoha genin."

Hidan just stared at the leaf symbol innocently etched into the metal plate. He looked from the hitai-ate up to the grinning Shina and a sudden flash of memory crossed his mind. Hidan suddenly started to laugh uncontrollably. Shina looked at him, a little concerned.

"What's so funny?" She asked.

Hidan bent over, bracing his hands on his knees, and took a few deep breaths to control his laughter.

"Just… just something your ancestor said to me before he blew my ass to pieces." He gasped out.

"Oh?" Shina said, "What did he say?" she asked curiously.

Hidan straightened up and pointed to the hitai-ate around his neck.

"He said 'My clan will keep you trapped here forever'." He tapped the metal plate, "Not quite the way he intended but in a sense you are certainly keeping his will alive and well."

Hidan then started to laugh again. Shina just looked at him a little bemused; she didn't see what was so funny. With a shrug she turned and walked away, leaving the hysterical ninja to his own devices.

As she was walking off she gave a small smile and wondered how long it would take him to realise that he was just a mere genin now.


End file.
